WWYD? Trigger warning sexual abuse

[Igglepiggleandhisboat]

If your niece asked you to take her to the Doctor as she was worried she was pregnant at 13/14. Would you tell her parents?

(no child is at risk here. The 13/14 year old is now an adult)

What made you think that she was a victim of abuse and not simply having underage sex with a boy her own age?

More information needed here.

It would depend on the child’s circumstances, what they had told me about their supposed pregnancy, why they didn’t want to tell their parents, their relationship with their parents in general, etc.

Probably not unless there was evidence/suggestion of sexual abuse. A patient has a right to confidentiality from sexual health clinic from the age of 13. She told an adult about it, which is you. So unless the matter is more complicated than them just having sex, I wouldn't report to parents.
If this is a case of sexual abuse, you need to report to authorities, not parents.

I’m not the aunt. I was the child. I was being sexually abused. Can’t go into too much detail as currently going to court. However it has transpired that I asked an aunt to take me to the doctor for a pregnancy test. I don’t remember this. She refused and told me to speak to my parents. She didn’t tell anyone. Had she, I might have been saved from the abuse. I just wondered what others would have done? X

I would have taken you to the doctor, and shared safeguarding concerns with them (although a 13yo being pregnant is absolutely a safeguarding concern despot what previous posters are claiming) - they are mandated to report those concerns, so her avoiding taking you protected your abuser. I am so sorry she did not act responsibly, and in effect contributed to the continuation of your experience.

Thank you. This is what I would have done too. I’m sad because she didn’t and no one would help me. I ended up miscarrying, scared and alone and it was horrendous but I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable!

If a 13-year-old girl came to me and asked me to go to the doctor with her for that reason, I would a) definitely go with her and b) ask a lot of questions about the circumstances, such as 'You don't have to tell me who the father might be, but can you just tell me if it's a boy your own age?' and 'Did this happen in a relationship, or was it something else?' to try and find out what was going on.

Without knowing your relationship with your parents or the nuances of that (and perhaps also when this happened) it's hard to know whether your aunt should have told them, and indeed what she should have told them if she did. But I certainly think she should have done SOMETHING. At the very least, to come to the doctor's with you, and to try to find about more about the situation. A 13-year-old having consensual sex with a boy around her own age would be concerning, but not abusive, and a serious conversation about boundaries and birth control might be enough. But a 13-year-old who eventually confesses that she is pregnant by someone much older is clearly in a very different situation - either that child has been groomed to believe that they are 'in a relationship' with an adult who is abusing them, or the child is aware that they are being abused but can't see a way of reporting it - and therefore social services and/or police would need to be alerted, even if there was some reason for not telling the parents.

By doing nothing, your aunt definitely failed you.

Oh love, what a horrible, horrible thing to go through. I'm so sorry you had to have this awful experience. You mention this is currently going to court, so I hope you get the justice you deserve. You are being incredibly brave. All the best to you xx

I don't think you are unreasonable to still be grieving for the frightened, abandoned and abused child that you were.

This is part of the grief cycle and in processing what happened you will view it from many angles.

I'm so sorry you were subjected to this horror.