to hire a cleaner for my parents-in-law?!

[Glassesfrompubs]

My parents-in-law live round the corner from us. Their house is disgusting. They are wonderful people who help us so much, but I find myself not wanting to go to their house or send my kids there. They just can't see it, but there is dirt and dust everywhere. I'm not exaggerating when I say there is mould on the kitchen cupboards because of the amount of splashes that haven't been cleaned.

I work full time and don't think I have time to clean the house myself, but I could afford a cleaner. I've mentioned this to my MIL who becomes offended but... seriously. It's a health hazard. Help. My DH says it's always been that way and he feels the same, but doesn't know how to broach the subject.

No of course you can’t. Can she hire someone to come and tarmac over your garden/ paint your hallway black? No.

What you can do is to decline to visit and encourage your DH to help them if they want to make changes. Which is doubtful.

It's not your place to interfere with how they live.

Of course you can't hire someone to enter and clean someone else's house without their permission. That would be a huge breach of trust.

You will just have to limit/stop visits, and if questioned you should just be honest.

It sounds like we have the same problem. My PIL are lovely, helpful, brilliant involved grandparents who are adored by the children…but their house is filthy. I don’t think they ever clean! The house is cluttered (verging on hoarding) and very dirty.

They also become offended if it’s mentioned but not offended enough to pick up a mop.

We just live with it, decline any invites that involve food and scrub when we get home 😬

You really can’t say ir do anything more, it is their choice and they haven’t asked for help. Will just cause a rift if you do. Just avoid visiting house, ask them to yours especially if they are babysitting. If they ask why get husband to say, do not put yourself in the firing line.