Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Abusive friend

14 replies

MissJD · 15/11/2023 09:14

So last night i was chatting to my best friend, her daughter was molested by her own father and she mentioned that she is in touch with him , emailing him smth

I asked why would she even want to talk to him after what he done ?

She called me horrible c-t , fkng b-t h said she will block me and i am losing a good friend, that she was always there for me , other names , loads of names

Told me not to dare criticise her being a parent , basically went mental .

Im confused, we been friends since 2018 , i am hurt i obviously triggered her and now i'm blocked .

I told her to sleep on it and read our chat again in the morning but she basically blocked me after paragraphs of abuse

At first i was confused but now i'm just angry , i blocked her back .

I don't think anyone deserves to be mentally and emotionally abused for a simple question you can nicely explain, I don't think she is a good friend and if she reaches out would you forgive her ?

Like i never was called such nasty names , I feel hurt now

OP posts:
Devilsmommy · 15/11/2023 09:17

Good riddance. If she wants to speak to the cunt who molested her daughter shes a complete twat. I'd be calling SS to make sure the child isn't put back in to this guy's orbit

C1N1C · 15/11/2023 09:21

Devilsmommy · 15/11/2023 09:17

Good riddance. If she wants to speak to the cunt who molested her daughter shes a complete twat. I'd be calling SS to make sure the child isn't put back in to this guy's orbit

This.

Wow, just wow... I'm speechless.

Tonight1 · 15/11/2023 09:21

Good grief.

She might be projecting her own guilt onto you?

As long as she is keeping daughter well away from him and daughter is supported, stay well away from her if she's speaking to you like that.

Catza · 15/11/2023 09:22

Well, yes and no... I think people going through undue stress can have out-of-character reactions. I think she is being incredibly unfair to you and frankly is putting her child at risk. But I would also be concerned of what else might be going in the background that made her react in this way (abuse from partner, feeling cornered, actually being in immediate danger) and if she was a close friend, I would be very concerned that I am not getting the full picture. If she is just a distant friend, then I would be inclined not to communicate further. In both situations, I would be informing LA of child safeguarding concerns though.

Original poster
MissJD · 15/11/2023 09:27

Devilsmommy · 15/11/2023 09:17

Good riddance. If she wants to speak to the cunt who molested her daughter shes a complete twat. I'd be calling SS to make sure the child isn't put back in to this guy's orbit

it's triggering to me as i was molested when i was 10'years old and she knows it

I just nicely asked why ? why is she emailing me ? what are they discussing?

But if she wants to throw friendship and block me i can't change it .

I'm really hurt , i told her "why are you feeding him attention?"
which made her send me paragraphs of abuse , i'm shocked and incredibly hurt

OP posts:
Tillybooh · 15/11/2023 09:29

I would also be concerned of what else might be going in the background that made her react in this way (abuse from partner, feeling cornered, actually being in immediate danger)

What? What happened to fight or flight? She’s supporting him and has had time to reflect upon what he’s done to her daughter.

Devilsmommy · 15/11/2023 09:38

@MissJD so sorry for what you've been through. You're definitely better off not talking to her. And please contact someone about safeguarding the child because her mother doesn't sound like she's going to keep her safe and away from him

ManateeFair · 15/11/2023 10:13

Not really sure why you'd want to be friends with someone who behaves like this. You're right, she's wrong. End of story. You are better off without her and you are absolutely the better person here.

JumpingDizzy · 15/11/2023 10:15

Definitely contact SS.

bakebeans · 15/11/2023 22:16

You are right. She's sounds unstable. You are well away thankfully

Legoblockskillfeet · 15/11/2023 22:23

How old is the daughter?

The mother is clearly not a protective factor and social services need to be aware of the risk that the child is under.

henrysugar12 · 16/11/2023 06:52

I'd contact ss and make them aware that the mother is in contact with the abuser of her daughter and is putting him first.

Lwrenagain · 16/11/2023 08:24

I'm really sorry you got such a mouthful of abuse and that's awful, but compared to the danger her child is now in, that's as they say, a piss in the ocean.
She needs reporting, she's not who you thought she was from her behaviour towards you, an adult of equal footing and she's shown she's disgusting impulse control.
Her daughter is in danger of abuse, please please please let authorities know.

Don't play this down in your head, don't get yourself concerned with her behaviour towards you, she's putting a child at what I'd class as an extreme risk.
If you think her retaliation may be a problem for you, imagine how traumatised you'd be if any harm came to that child.

Youre in a horrid situation, but you need to protect this child. Today x

PersephonePomegranate23 · 16/11/2023 08:31

She knows she's in the wrong on some level and doesn't want to face up to it. Instead of reflecting on why she is doing what she is doing and how she is failing her daughter, she's making it your fault.

Keep her on blocked!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page