To want to slowly drop

[WinkyWinkola]

the mothers I made friends with in my NCT group three years ago?

The four of us meet every week. We've been through all sorts of issues that only first time parents go through.

But now the LOs are coming up to 3, I just don't think we have anything in common at all. And they're starting to annoy me for various reasons.

I know our once weekly meet is important to them but it's less so to me.

Am I being a cow? The kids will be going to school in 18 months so we won't be able to meet anymore anyway (except for one mother who has had another baby like me) and I should avoid offending them? Because it is going to offend them and I'm not really looking to hurt feelings. I'd just like to spend some more time with other friends.

Message withdrawn

Once a week is a bit much, it doesn't give you much time to create some gossip. I don't think that you should completely cut them off, there may be a time when you really need them and you may be losing great friends. It just sounds like you need to see them less often so that you have more things to talk about. It's difficult to find friends for children to play with when they are school age and it would benefit all of the children if they had this friendship when they are a bit bigger. They are probably annoying you because you see so much of them.

I think there is nothing wrong with this. SOme friends are for life and others like this become close at a certain time in your lives and then as things change life moves on and they don't always move with you. I would slowly start to go to fewer meetups making the excuse that you have arranged to see other friends and gradually increase these. Who knows you may find you are happy to see them anyway if its only once a month.

They may be upset but if I was them to be honest I'd be much more pissed off to think you were only coming along out of guilt when you would have preferred to lose contact months ago!

Well if I was in your NCT group I would probably be hurt - seems strange to suddenly want to drop them. Three of us from our NCT group still meet - gradually 3 have dropped out overtime - they just kept missing meetings and stopped returning calls. I guess they felt the same way as you. TBH, although initially upset by some things that have gone on it turned out for the best and everything is a lot smoother now, I guess because we are all friends and not just an NCT group.

So to contradict my first sentence they may actually be relieved because it is possible to sense when someone doesn't really want to be there.

I know it is good to be up-front but sometimes it is better to just quietly slip away, ifykwim.

YANBU. Time to start an exercise class on the day you usually meet.

My NCT group had largely fragmented by the time the babies were 18 months old and it was a relief really. I see the mum that I got on well with but really don't have the energy for keeping up relationships that I don't get enough out of IYSWIM.

Actually if you do this gradually and don't be too in your face about not wanting to see them you could always pick the friendship up in a couple of years if you find you have more in common then too...

YANBU things change. I woudl probably start by just being a bit busier and making your meetings less frequent. As others have said you may just be seeing too much of one another at the moment. You never know they may be feeling the same way! Just be busy for a couple of weeks and see what happens. As you say things will become a bit more difficult when they are all at school anyway.