Christmas travel

[Justcallmesarah]

My partner and I live in Suffolk. He wants to travel to see family just before Christmas, which is fine.

However we have just had a baby 8 weeks ago, and although I don't mind visiting his family they live over 5 hours away and he wants us to travel back on the 23rd leaving around midday.

I'm not happy with this as that will leave me with the evening or the 23rd to do unpack from the trip, wash bits, do a food shop (if anythings left) and get organised and prepped for Xmas eve/day.

He thinks I'm being ridiculous and can't flex and go a day earlier as his daughter is in school.

Not sure if I should cave, go back with him and just deal with the running around/stress after or miss the visit and let him go solo which will not land well.

Any impartial advice x

Yea I wouldn't be doing that with a soon to be 3month old. No way.

I don't think either of you are really unreasonable but it should be fine with some planning, book a food delivery if you can get one for 24th

We did a 5 hour trip with y 6mo and including all the stops we made for feeding and changing etc it was more like 7 hrs or so.

I would let him go on his own. That is too much.

Why can't DH unpack/wash etc whilst you do the food shop or vice versa, why is it on you to do everything?

He should be helping with the sorting but I don’t see an issue with going to see family.

Lay him do the shopping etc when you get back

I wouldn’t cancel the trip but I hope you meant it will leave us and not me to unpack etc.
Make sure he helps!

Why can't they visit you? Why can't you meet somewhere half way for a say trip/pub lunch?

There is no way I would have done that with a 3 month old in tow

The fact that you'll be the one unpacking after and prepping for Christmas day screams that he has no understanding of the practical implications of this trip. If you go, he needs to do the leg work

I wouldn't miss out on seeing family around Christmas. I suppose it depends on what you have planned for Christmas and how many guests you have but there are two of you to complete tasks so I can't quite imagine what it is that will take all the time on 23/24 th.

I would get as much prep and shopping done before you go then go and get the rest on the 24th. What sort of Christmas Day are you planning? If it's just the two of you and the baby it shouldn't be too onerous. I also think that you and your OH need to share out the tasks.

I mean it's not ideal but with some organisation it should be ok as a one off. Get as much as you can prepared before you go, book a food delivery for the fresh stuff for late on 23rd or early 24th and split the tasks in advance for when you get back so everyone knows what they are doing.

For me it would be worth a bit of hassle on 23rd and the morning of 24th to know the visit was done and dusted and then you can enjoy Christmas at home.

I'd do it.

I, when I stay at home, go to Tesco Christmas eve at about 8am and it's always dead. The rush starts around lunch time round here.

YABU. What on earth are you planning for Christmas day that will take so much preparation? Do you have older DC as well ?

Just get a food delivery for 24th if any left or Tesco click and collect- he can go and pick it up.

Spanner in the works this year is that Christmas Eve is on a Sunday, which means the shops can only open for 6 hours.

They'll open early for browsing, by which time there's likely to be a massive queue and the shops are likely to be very busy most of the day as the massive queue of browsers all arrive at the tills with full trolleys in preparation for them opening.

The plan to visit family is fine, but you need to do things a little differently to minimise the obvious difficulties and stresses.

Planning to travel on the 23rd at midday is madness. Half the country will be doing the same and the roads will be awful especially if the weather is bad. Your 5 hour journey might be more like 8/9 hours. Plus isn't there recommendations about not having very young babies in car seats for too long? Can you set off much earlier on the Saturday, eg 7 am?

What are your plans for Christmas day? Do you have older DC? I think I'd set off back early on the 23rd and plan to stop at a supermarket at 8/9 am to buy things like fresh veg and milk and any other fresh essentials you'll need between the Saturday and when the shops open again after Christmas - take a cool bag and some icepacks, so the food will be fine in the car boot. Get anything non perishable and buy and freeze your meat and anything like prawns before you visit DPs family, so that's covered. Expect the journey to take a long time so plan in breaks, eg lunch on the road where you can take the baby out of the car seat.

Then when you get back, whatever needs doing, you split between you. If you're doing the washing and there's any shopping still needed, DP goes out and does that. Sunday you do whatever other prep needs doing between you.