To be stuck on wanting another baby!

[sidsparrownew]

I have 2 DC, 5 and 3. I really thought by now I would have had a 3rd, but it's not happened. I did have a MC about a year ago. I've just turned 42, so I think my fertility is declining. Everything else has been checked and Dr can't really see any reason as to why it's not happened.

I have a great opportunity to return to uni for one year which should land me a good job, and to be honest, my working would really improve our finances, but I feel so sad that I have to give up on the idea of a 3rd. I came from a very small family and suffered a lot of loss growing up, so having 3 felt important to me, so I'm having a hard time letting go. I also had a touch of postnatal depression after my 2nd, and it feels like I wasn't there, like I missed it all, and I feel sad I'll never get those days back.

I genuinely don't know how to move on. I appreciate all what I have, but I can't seem to shake the 3rd baby idea. Any advice is most welcome because it's driving me up the wall. 😬

I feel for you. You know it's sod's law that you'll start the course and fall pregnant. This kind of thing has happened to a couple of people I know.
I don't really have any advice. If you dont have any more children then I think you'll grow to appreciate the benefits of having two. I wanted three but it didn't happen. Now I really like the fact I have two and they both have my full attention. I find two very manageable. Also as I enter perimenopause every trace of broodiness has disappeared so that helps!
I do hope you find peace with it.

I'm currently TTC no 2 I've no advice just my sympathies! It is tough. I MC'd last week, 4th one now. I'm 35 but thinking of packing it all in but I'd love DS to have a sibling

@SallyWD Thank you for that. I know deep down two will be more manageable. I do feel sad though that I can't bring them home another sibling, however, they do have each other, and I do know that I will have more time for each of them, and resources. It's good to hear from someone else how I may feel in time. I know a baby would be an upheavel, it would put us back a few years, but then I think... small price to pay for a life. I'm on a constant seesaw!! But I do appreciate your words.

@SOTHATSHOWITGOES I really feel for you, honestly, one MC was bad enough. I can't imagine the limbo that four would put you in, and I admire your bravery in continuing. Part of me is scared that if I were lucky enough to fall pregnant again, that it would go the same way. I really wish you the best of luck in whatever decision you make. I know where I live you can get a referral on the NHS for further investigation if you've had 3 MC's, so hopefully you can find some assistance and support. Best wishes 😗

I would stick at 2 and just put all your love and efforts into those two. You may be dissapointed and waste alot of emotions on setting your heart on a third. Also you will jeopardise your career. Thunk of the positives of just two, financially, emotionally and for the planet.