Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So confused and need a hand hold

6 replies

Baabaaba · 14/11/2023 12:46

Hi everyone last Thursday I received a phone call to come in the next day for my biopsy results. On top of this my son was screaming all day crying just having a rubbish day. My children’s dad who was my partner and me were texting and I ended up taking all my anger out on him the message was something like "if your not going to come and hold me I will find someone else too" anyway he blocked me after this message which I get.

The next day I had my biopsy result and the lump has cancer cells and they want to surgically remove it and do loads of more scans.

Im so upset by the news and how he blocked me the day before my Reilly knowing my symptoms and how scared I was. I know I shouldn't of said anything but I just wanted him to see how alone and scared I was (he was at his mums as he had a infection in his gums and being around the children made him feel unwelll.

On the weekend my poor mum with stage 4 lung cancer got admitted to hospital after coughing up blood she is now home.

But due to this I have been completely alone with my children whilst hearing the news I guess I just want a handhold but also do you think I should of had some compassion knowing I was going to have my biopsy result or should I just take that I was mean and learn from it .

OP posts:
km21 · 14/11/2023 13:10

So sorry you’re having to deal with this alone. Your partner sounds very immature. Do you have a good relationship with his mother? Could you enlist her to help him understand the situation and that he needs to step up while you have treatment.

if it helps I am a few months down the road from a similar diagnosis and the treatment is not half as scary as it sounds. If they have said a lumpectomy rather than mastectomy it’s likely to be at a very early stage which can be successfully treated.

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/
is a great source of information and support and the breast care nurses at the hospital will be able to point you to more local support.

good luck

Macmillan Cancer Support | The UK's leading cancer care charity

Macmillan Cancer Support is here to listen, support you through treatment, and help with money. We fundraise so we can do whatever it takes.

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/

rubyslippers · 14/11/2023 13:12

Firstly I am sorry for your worrying diagnosis
There’s amazing resources such as Macmillian and other orgs who can help you and your mum
so if your partner an ex?
why on earth when he wasn’t well given the luxury of going to his mums ?!
he doesn’t sound very mature or helpful

Mothership4two · 14/11/2023 13:18

Any reasonable partner would have realised you were stressed and lashing out and cut you some slack. Even if he made a knee-jerk decision to block, by now (or a lot sooner) he should have realised and backtracked. Yes you should have had a ton of compassion. He sounds selfish, immature and doesn't seem to have much love or respect for you. I know you want support but I don't think you are or were going to get much from him.

I'm so sorry about you and your Mum's health FlowersFlowers

Original poster
Baabaaba · 14/11/2023 13:19

km21 · 14/11/2023 13:10

So sorry you’re having to deal with this alone. Your partner sounds very immature. Do you have a good relationship with his mother? Could you enlist her to help him understand the situation and that he needs to step up while you have treatment.

if it helps I am a few months down the road from a similar diagnosis and the treatment is not half as scary as it sounds. If they have said a lumpectomy rather than mastectomy it’s likely to be at a very early stage which can be successfully treated.

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/
is a great source of information and support and the breast care nurses at the hospital will be able to point you to more local support.

good luck

Edited

Hey thank you so so much hearing your reply I’m not that close with his family he was brought up in care and recently went back to create a bond with her luckily my best friend has really come around today to help just felt so guilty for being unkind to him my stomach hurt but probably me just focusing on the small thing to distract myself thank you so much for your kind words and I wish you the best in your journey x

OP posts:
Original poster
Baabaaba · 14/11/2023 13:20

Mothership4two · 14/11/2023 13:18

Any reasonable partner would have realised you were stressed and lashing out and cut you some slack. Even if he made a knee-jerk decision to block, by now (or a lot sooner) he should have realised and backtracked. Yes you should have had a ton of compassion. He sounds selfish, immature and doesn't seem to have much love or respect for you. I know you want support but I don't think you are or were going to get much from him.

I'm so sorry about you and your Mum's health FlowersFlowers

Thank you so much he’s always been the same i guess you want what you can’t have thank you for being kind xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Baabaaba · 14/11/2023 13:45

tbh you are right it’s always been so unfailr and the way your worded it just helped me see that thank you xx

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page