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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour issue- was I being unreasonable?

82 replies

St123 · 14/11/2023 09:56

Hi there

I just want your thoughts on this situation. Our house is on a private single road, where there are a few houses along this road. It can only accommodate one car going up or down at a time.
I had just turned off the main road (which at this time was quiet) into our private road and drove up and my neighbour was pulling out her driveway slightly (which is why I continued to drive up) then continued to drive down. We don’t get on with these neighbours due to issues in the past. So at this point both of us were blocking the road and couldn’t go either way. This childishly became a stand off with neither of us refusing to move. She was mouthing at me to reverse back onto the main road to let her out and I mouthed back asking her to reverse back into her driveway as that was the safest option without me having to move back onto the main road and potentially hitting car. She then got out of her car and stormed back home leaving her car blocking the road. The situation was getting very embarrassing so I just reversed out onto the main road then she came back 5 mins later and drove off. Normally in this situation if I am in her position, I would either wait for the car to pass or go back into my drive to let them pass as it’s easier than the other person reversing onto the main road. Am I in the wrong here and just completely embarrassed myself? What would you do in my position? This neighbour does think very highly of herself and I felt it was more of a whose more dominant situation if you get what I mean. TIA x

OP posts:
Original poster
St123 · 14/11/2023 11:25

Knowing what she’s like she prob would’ve called the police on me lol. Also,even if I had the guts to block her in then it would also prevent the other few houses getting out too which would make me the problem x

OP posts:
susiedaisy1912 · 14/11/2023 11:27

You were in the right op. The only way I can see around this is too try to extend the olive leaf and start afresh with them if it's just been a series of misunderstandings or next time stand you ground and give as good as you get. She was absolutely in the wrong to make you back out onto a main road even if it wasn't a busy road. How long have you lived there? Did you get on well with them to begin with?

TerfTalking · 14/11/2023 11:30

SausageAndEggSandwich · 14/11/2023 10:04

This!

Show quote history

Same here! I would have just got out, locked up
and walked to the house. It would be clear to anyone else who was being a petty bitch.

Justleaveitblankthen · 14/11/2023 11:33

I would have left my car and gone indoors.
If/when she came knocking I would answer with an almost empty glass of wine in my hand and tell her I don't drink and drive and will move it in the morning.

Auntiedear · 14/11/2023 12:21

Offer to reverse her car for her next time - that normally works (either because they let you or they do it themselves).

WickedSerious · 14/11/2023 12:27

I'd have sat there all day humming the theme tune from A Few Dollars More.

CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson · 14/11/2023 12:27

MaggieFS · 14/11/2023 10:55

You were already on the road. She should have waited.

I agree with pp, at the point she got out and stormed off. I'd have just left my car and wandered home. Perhaps leaving a note "I'll be at home in no. 5, let me know when you've realised I was already on the road and you need the reverse".

Absolutely this

FlickyCrumble · 14/11/2023 12:30

She was the one coming off her drive. She should have looked and stopped. It doesn’t matter how many times she had to do it. You had right of way.

EvilElsa · 14/11/2023 12:30

I'd have got out and gone inside like she did. She wants to go out, you are home. Whose more inconvenienced?
You shouldn't be reversing back onto a main road, she's a dick. Nothing you can do now though.

EvilElsa · 14/11/2023 12:32

If she called the police then great. They would tell her to reverse as you can't go back into a main road.

JL690 · 14/11/2023 12:35

She deliberately blocked the road, abandoned her car and forced you into an illegal manoeuvre. She was totally in the wrong. I would have called the police to remove an abandoned car.

serialgrannie · 14/11/2023 12:35

Rule 201 of the Highway Code applies - see below. Suggest downloading section and put it through her letterbox.

  1. Donotreversefromasideroadintoamainroad.Whenusinga driveway, reverse in and drive out if you can.
Tinkerbyebye · 14/11/2023 12:59

I would have got out of my car and gone home as well.

TenderDandelions · 14/11/2023 13:27

If you were to have an accident with her, her insurance company would have found her liable as turning out of a driveway is considered the more dangerous manouver. This combined with the fact that Rule 201 of the Highway Code says "Do not reverse from a side road into a main road." means she should have reversed.

As you turned in, could you have seen she was turning out before you turned off the main road? If so, she may have had an argument to say that you could see she was coming out, but realistically, if I were your neighbour I'd have allowed you to get off the main road first.

Send her a copy of the Highway Code, with the relevant page highlighted!

manticlimactic0 · 14/11/2023 20:28

TVaddict23 · 14/11/2023 10:03

The child in me says it's a shame you blinked first. You were home and could have just gone in the house. She needed to go out 🤣

This all day long 😂

Noodles1234 · 14/11/2023 21:01

She should have reversed, it is illegal to reverse from a minor to a major.

I have seen people do this, just abandon their car, quite petty really.

Countmyblessings5 · 14/11/2023 21:06

I absolutely agree. It is totally the wrong advice and wrong thing to do but I would have parked up and gone home! My DP would not agree though 🤦🏼‍♀️ x

Applesaarenttheonlyfruit · 14/11/2023 21:42

she’s a prize cunt, take some satisfaction from that.

Mycatmax · 14/11/2023 21:47

I have been in a very similar position and I just locked my car, walked past her and went indoors.

I checked about an hour later, and the neighbour had put their car back on their driveway so I could park mine.

The bitch never tried that shit with me again.

Lizziespring · 15/11/2023 08:11

Your road sounds like a friendly place. D'you have street parties?

MidnightOnceMore · 15/11/2023 08:15

She was wrong but in these situations it is often easiest to just Hmm and let the other person get on with being a prat.

Only if it really matters do I engage with prats.

Overtiredmam · 15/11/2023 08:29

Maybe she can't reverse 😂 I know a woman who will refuse to reverse if she meets another car on a small road/lane as she doesn't like reversing 🤦‍♀️

justanotherparrot · 15/11/2023 08:53

She was in the wrong but forget about it, let her get on with being a dick. I've been in the same situation myself and it's not worth the mental energy mulling it over.
The world's full of them, rise above it and don't stoop to their level.

Saz12 · 15/11/2023 09:04

justanotherparrot · 15/11/2023 08:53

She was in the wrong but forget about it, let her get on with being a dick. I've been in the same situation myself and it's not worth the mental energy mulling it over.
The world's full of them, rise above it and don't stoop to their level.

This is the Right Thing To Do. And no matter how loopy she is, she can't actually believe she was in the right, so surely wont look back on ot and think "yay, me!!".

Though I love the idea of putting a highlighted copy of the Highway Code in her letterbox.

Brefugee · 15/11/2023 09:14

I'd have told her to refresh her knowledge of the highway vode:you had right of way. And I'd have waited it out (in my car)

She needed to go out, she'd have caved.

Post a copy of the relevant section of the highway code