To dump him for this?!

[Ruthfulmum]

I have only been going out with this guy for a month. He said he’s a non smoker but I saw an vape thing in his car- says he does not consider vaping as smoking. Could have said I don’t smoke but I vape! C’mon.

Smoking technically isn't vaping buy is still additive and smells and long term health damage not yet known. Ask him if he plans on stopping. Doing weed occasionally isn't classed as smoking either, so if you have a problem with weed I'd ask that also. Going back to the lying part, he was definitely dishonest which Id personally class as lying but you might be able to get over it if you like him.

I think this is going to be a divisive one. I vape and I don't necessarily consider myself a "smoker". All of the unknowns about vaping aside, it doesn't create the same problems for others that people associate with smokers (stinking, bad breath etc.) so I can kinda see why he doesn't put himself in that bracket. But it's not unreasonable to expect someone to disclose it as it is smoking adjacent.

By the way, I'm a vaper. I quit smoking 4 years ago. Up until now, I've never encountered a problem, every non-smoking friend I have is fine with me having a puff in their homes/cars so after a while, I barely think about it.

Is he a former smoker and now full time vaper? A former smoker who keeps a vape around in case a craving hits out of the blue? It's fine to ask the context.

I wouldn't consider it an instant dumping offence, I'd personally class it as a beige flag and take note going forward. Judge it by his attitude to being questioned and if he can see your point of view. If he can't or his attitude is bad, then I'd be showing him the door. Sometimes it's not the problem itself that I judge people on, it's the response.

Yes. YABU.

He vapes, he doesn't smoke cigarettes.

The end.

Your life, your choice. Is it a nicotine vape? If you have strong feelings on the subject then it would be the right decision for you.

Yabu

You can dump someone for any reason that makes sense to you. If it's a dealbreaker, it's a dealbreaker.

YANBU to dump someone for any reason you see fit. Your personal life isn't a court of law.

He should have told you.

You can dump someone for any reason you like. If you don't want to date someone who vapes, don't date him. It's not complicated.

I don't think it was a deliberate lie though. In his eyes, he doesn't smoke. I personally think of vaping as a separate thing to smoking and I think lots of people do.

After one month, you can dump him for whatever reason you like. I personally wold also consider vaping smoking and would be bemused as to why he didn't admit that upfront. I wouldn't consider it a dumpable offence.

But I also think it's completely fine if you do.

You can dump him for any reason you want, you don't need permission. But, it's a vape, don't act like you've just found out he eats babies.

It’s a month. At this stage you’re not even really together tbh unless you’ve seen each other multiple times so this is a non issue.

BUT I would end it over this; although I think people who vape are wankers. The excess smoke (worse than cigarette smoke) makes it hard for those with breathing conditions (like me) and unlike proper smokers who tend to do it out of people’s way, those that vape do it in the middle of the damn street. So I’d dump him simply for being a vaper rather than the lying.

I'm a ex smoker, I occasionally vape a 0%, it is definitely not smoking.

Well he is technically right vaping isn't smoking... theres no 'smoke' involved.

It is irritating though, Id rather date a smoker than a vaper TBH but he hasn't 'lied' to you in anyway.

If you hate vaping, then toss this one back.

If it's about lying... I'm not convinced he lied.

He doesn't consider vaping is smoking (neither do I for the record, but that's irelevant) and describes himself as a non smoker. You seem to think that vaping is on a par with smoking and have a problem with it.

That's the only thing that matters, do you want to start a relationship with a man that vapes? There's your answer.

I don't smoke or vape & detest both in equal measure.

people I know who vape consider themselves non smokers & for the best part I agree.

its like asking if someone watches football & they say 'no' then getting pissy when they're Rugby fans & thinking they lied to you.

he didn't lie.

id stop seeing him because he vapes 🙅🏻‍♀️

Tbh after a month I'd cut loose for any reason!

I understand people think vapes aren't the same as regular cigarettes which is fine, but if you'd class yourself as a non smoker I'd class vapes in the same category personally, they're e-cigarettes. Weird that he'd advertise himself as a non smoker and not mention the vape? It's like someone saying they don't play football at the weekend, but it turns out they play American football instead. Different rules but kinda the same thing, you wouldn't deny one without mentioning the other if that makes sense?

It's still vaporising chemicals and inhaling them, just without the burning part. But I'm a non smoker (of any kind) so it's more black and white to me I think 🤷🏻‍♀️

You can end a relationship for any reason you want OP.

I prefer smoking me. At least they bugger off outside and aren't constantly sucking on them, like a dummy.

I vape, I don’t smoke. Very few if any vapers would classify themselves as smokers. You sound a bit ott. I’d dump as he will have a lucky escape.

@GalileoHumpkins

This.

He doesn't smoke, he vapes. If this bothers you maybe you already have the ick.

I agree OP, I would expect someone to say 'No I don't smoke but I vape' in answer to a smoking question.

I think I have an ick because I am quite health conscious and don’t keep company of people who smoke or vape, usually see this in strangers. He is an ex heavy smoker so I feel maybe for him to vape is an achievement 🤷🏻‍♀️ or more so a step in the right direction

Honestly wouldn’t even occur to me. I think if you’ve issues though I can see why you’d expect that, maybe change the question to do you smoke or vape?