Obsessive neighbour losing the plot over leaves

[Sparkies2012]

Our neighbours are a relatively elderly couple and since they moved in have had a bee in their bonnet over leaves that blow onto their driveway. The gate to our driveway is opposite to their open driveway, separated by a narrow road. Our next door neighbour has a massive old tree in their garden that produces a lot of leaves, most of which fall into our driveway. We don’t really bother collecting the leaves, as it is an endless task at this time of the year, but the elderly couple is constantly on at us because the leaves blow across the road into their driveway and the odd one gets in their front door. Now we have told them we don’t produce the leaves, and they don’t bother us, so if they are bothered by the leaves either pick them up or take it up with our neighbour who owns the tree. But now they have even started collecting them in black bags and, under the cover of darkness, leaving them in front of our driveway gate, or throwing them over our fence. I’m tempted next time they do this to open the bag and dump it over their driveway again. AIBU by not picking up the leaves in our garden?

Lol, my nurse friend volunteers at a hospice once a month. That's a better use of her time than sweeping leaves IN HER OWN GARDEN.

The world is going to hell in a handcart because people aren't fly tipping enough.

Working in the NHS does not make you a saint!

You think the "world" is heading this way because people don't want to deal with unreasonable fuckers who want to dump leaves on their drive!

Did your parents teach you to be so sanctimonious as well! It's a horrible trait to be honest.

As PP said, pipe down!

It's a sad day when we can't and won't help our neighbours cos we're selfish and would rather laugh at them on a social media thread.

I'm not a saint. I never said I was. I just have values indicative of helping others whatever their circumstances.

I’d help anyone who asked nicely.

Dumping leaving on my drive as a passive aggressive action will not be receiving any help.

Good for you working for the NHS I bet you are underpaid and undervalued.

Keen gardener here :-)

if someone went to the trouble of bagging up a load of leaves and leaving them for me I’d be pretty happy. Leaves in plastic bags is the perfect way to make leaf mulch - which is brilliant for the garden: Monty Don says so.

Come next spring you’ll save £££ on compost, seriously.

I volunteer to take a shift out side your house , can provide own shrubbery!

I misread that and wondered exactly how that would help

I agree that it's so tiresome when people - of any age (although I would forgive young children) - obsess about something ridiculous and totally unimportant to anybody but themselves, but then demand YOU share their obsession too.

We have a neighbour who harangues us and even came around to our house once, because we park in a safe, legal space on the road reasonably near to his house (he has a two-car drive, plenty of room to get in and out and never wants/needs to park on the road). He told us that we had made our 'problem' (having a car to park somewhere - not a problem at all) into his problem.

I don't know if it is some kind of mental illness or what, but what would possess people to waste their precious time in caring about stupid, pointless stuff that doesn't affect them or anybody else in any way? Don't they value their own lives at all?

It's a sad day when we can't and won't help our neighbours cos we're selfish and would rather laugh at them on a social media thread.

We're only laughing at them because it's a nicer alternative than showing them our anger at their busybodying, selfish, arrogant, anti-social, bullying behaviour and desire to dictate to us how they expect us to spend our lives and waste our time as well as their own.

Would you prefer OP to go to their house and just scream at them and punch them in the face?

So a quick update, last nights bag of leaves is back. We caught the neighbour on camera, out in her dressing gown, putting it back against our fence at 7am this morning, not directly in front of the gate this time but back on our property none the less. I’m writing a note to pin to the bag in the morning with a warning about fly tipping and putting it back on her drive.

I think that would be the most sensible option. They can't actually be fly tipping people.

Just maybe OP is not a gardener? Do you think the neighbours are doing it as a favour, I doubt it!

I help others, but I don't allow others to abuse me!

I have boundaries, they're important to teach our children, you should do it!

My goodness they really have a pathetic bee in their bonnet about it don’t they!

Don't they just,it's barmy.😐 made more baffling by the fact it's not even OPs tree the leaves are falling from.

My neighbours do the same. It’s autumn, leaves fall. They need to get a life. Makes me dread retirement. Send the old bastards crazy 😜

When you put the bag back on their drive with the note, lie the bag down with the top open and let leaves fall out..... Added effect! 🍂 🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂🍂

Completely agree with this.

Couple aren’t handling it well but we have no idea of their circumstances. Just because they are picking them up doesn’t mean it isn’t taking a lot out of them physically to do so, just so they can walk safely.

One of our neighbours has a massive tree and if they picked up at least some of them it would mean my elderly mother wouldn’t have to do it so often (I can’t due to various disability related reasons).

You could argue that they should pay someone to come do it, but again we have no idea of their financial situation.

A small bit of help goes a long way. Some of these comments are frankly disgusting, ageist and ableist.

I think it's sad the responses on this post are so indicative of the world today and how selfish people are.

I agree, the elderly neighbours are selfish sods for cleaning mess from their own drive and dumping it on somebody else's drive, expecting them to deal with it, instead of doing it themselves.

When you're wanting an abnormal thing ('I demand you clear leaves in YOUR garden from a tree that isn't yours!'), then you need to use your words.

"Hi, we're over at number 23. When the leaves get wet, they make the path slippery. We are worried about a fall. I know it's not your tree, but when you get a chance, can you collect them? Because when they pile up in your garden, they then blow over to our front door."

How is OP supposed to know that is their situation, Vs

"I'm Mrs Bucket and I don't like your garden looking untidy with LEAVES in AUTUMN and I DEMAND you tidy so that I don't have to look at it."

That's why adults use words, not act out all passive aggressively.

Just commenting because I want to know how this plays out! 😁

As I acknowledged they aren’t handling it well, however from OPs post it has escalated from talking and basically being told tough it doesn’t bother us, to taking action.

If they are older they are probably from the generation that feels very awkward about talking about their vulnerabilities. Yes people will scoff at that but it’s a real thing for elderly and those who acquire disability.

I can’t help but feel very sad that society seems to ignore the benefits of “community” and helping each other, in favour of an “I’m alright Jack, it’s your own responsibility to take care of yourself” attitude. It is possible to do things like this, whilst also setting boundaries and taking into account your own needs, abilities and commitments.

I came on to say exactly this. I hate doing the collecting but the leaf mould is like gold for your plants!

You're giving a sympathetic reading of the situation. But how many threads have you seen where a neighbour has a drive (so they are not impacted) but they don't like cars parking on the public road outside their house. Not that their visitors lack parking. But they just don't like people parked in the street outside their house.

Some people are very territorial.

We don't need to pander to them just because they are old.

They don't even need to say "we are worried about slipping on leaves."

Even just, "sorry to bother you, we know it's not your tree, but when the leaves pile up in your garden they blow into ours. If you get a chance can you collect them?"

Or even, if they have the time and are fit enough, "do you mind if every now and then we come into your front garden and collect the leaves so they don't blow into ours?"

In our old house the design of the houses and the layout of the road meant the trees right at the end of the road 100m away used to shed their leaves and they would end up between mine and my neighbours' house. For over a decade she would sweep the ones up on her driveway and put them in the bin. Sometimes I would do ours, but usually not because they are just leaves and they do eventually just blow away. Not once in that decade did she tell me to sweep the ones on my side. Or dump any bags of leaves that had blown from my side. Because they're bloody leaves and they bloody blow everywhere!

Your neighbour is a twat and I'm glad you've got her on camera flytipping. Absolutely pin that note to the bag and call her out on her behaviour.