Moving schools for this reason?

[Kamazia]

DD is 4, she’s in reception. We live in London, in a diverse area, we are black.
DDs school seems to be less diverse than others, she is the only black child in her class, lots of white children (both British and other nationalities) and about an equal amount of other minorities, mainly families from South East Asian, South Asian and Middle Eastern backgrounds.
So far DD has no friends, we talk about being black and how beautiful she is but she has started asking why none of her classmates are black. There are other black children in the school and they did lots for black history month, but I don’t want DD feeling “different”.
The school is great, it has the best KS2 results in the area, tiny tiny catchment area etc.
There is another school which is actually closer to our house, it doesn’t do as well at KS2 results but other parent have told me it’s because it covers the area of council houses more so has more children from a deprived background. Basically they have said if your DD would do well at the better school, they will still do well at this school.
I ruled it out initially as it is a CofE school, but now I’m thinking it might be better for DD as she’d been one of quite a few black kids in her class and not feel so “different”.
AIBU to move DDs school for this reason? would you?

Since she's only just started school, I wonder if the first thing to try would be speaking to the teacher about encouraging more friendships? Does your DD say she has no friends/doesn't play with anyone? It's a very common thing for little ones to say after school, when it's not actually the case. What does the teacher say?

I appreciate the above does not address the lack of diversity in the class. Would you feel more reassured if your daughter was making stronger friendships?

It confuses me the whole friendship thing. At parents evening the teacher said DD tends to play by herself at playtime and lunchtime but DD points to everyone and calls them her friend. She hasn’t been invited to any play dates and I talk to the parents. One of the mums is lovely but I know her DD doesn’t play with mine.
Between the struggle of friendships and lack of diversity i’m not sure it’s the right school for DD.

"Friendships" at this age are extremely loose and fleeting however - they change friends as often as they change socks. Personally I think the teacher should be putting in place some activities to encourage connections.

Have you checked if the alternative school as a space for your DD?

Hey, I’ve had something similar with my youngest child. A London CofE primary school and they were the only black child. There was one mixed race child but all the other children were white - mainly British but some other nationalities. It was pretty shocking as it is a pretty ethnically diverse borough. I became very involved in school life and worked with the school to incorporate diversity & inclusion into the curriculum, assemblies, library books etc. my thinking was that if she can see herself in all these different areas of school life she won’t feel different. It was initially difficult taking the steps to get involved in school but it really helped and I can see she is proud of her heritage.

In regards to friendships my kids changed friendship groups in reception and y1 but then settled into solid friendships. Id be proactive and arrange play dates with all the kids one by one. Even if you ask the parents to meet after school at a local park for 30 mins. It helps to get to know the parents and the kids better as its a long journey from reception to y6 so getting to know parents as well as all the kids does really help.

Is it a one form entry school? Or are there other forms in the year and other kids she might be in a class with in future years?
I think the point above about kids being quite unreliable narrators is a good one. DS is in reception and hasn't made strong friendships yet, nor have we had any play dates, as everyone is just working out how to make all the school logistics work at the moment. Can you find her clubs/activities outside school with a different group?

As she’s only in reception, I don’t think people are doing play dates and the likes yet in the first term, not my experience anyway. I think you should give it time. I’m also black and though there are 2 other black children in my reception aged DD’s class, they’re not even the ones she plays with. I talk to some mums but no play dates, etc either.
Everyone seem to be rushing to or from work, to activities, etc. With DD1 who’s now in year 6, she didn’t have any play date till she was in year 1.

YABU if you are raising your dd to think that her skin colour is important. Look up Coleman Hughes Ted talk and stop it, for her sake.