To think moving him schools is the only option now?

[Worriedkittycat]

School back ground is DS is Y1 (5 years old) with suspected ASD, his school have referred him for an assessment.

It's one if the best schools in our area, we were lucky it was a low birth year and we managed to get him a place as we're out of the catchment area. It's a quiet village school. Small class sizes, etc. DS absolutely loves his school.

I'm not working. Currently studying FT but due to lecture timings I'm unable to actually attend in person this semester due to clashes with the school run. Course leader fine with this.

Anyway, the plan was to finish my degree and then find something PT to fit around the school runs.

Things have now changed. Since the COL crisis we've been hanging by a thread financially and basically I need to get a job now and preferably a FT one.

His school do not have Wrap around care. There's a breakfast club but no after school club. They do run after school activity type clubs but these finish at 4pm, change termly, have restricted places and sometimes certain ones are only open to certain year groups.

There's one childminder who services the school, she's full and honestly, I'm not that keen but regardless,she's full anyway.

So beyond changing schools go one who has Wrap around care, I don't know what else to do but I hate the idea of moving him when it's such a fantastic school and he's so happy but as we know, 9 - 2 jobs are hard to come by and the pay isn't great.

What should I do?

Are you sure there's only 1 childminder? When I was a childminder I took on different schools if asked and had availability.

A nanny?

Is there another mom who might be happy to earn some money after school by taking him home with her child? Or a SNA or teacher assistant who might bring him to your house or theirs for a few hours? I would explore every option before moving him since he has settled so well.

Is there no asc provider who picks up from the school?

Do you have a partner?

Firstly, stick your name down for the childminder. Then, I would look for a job that's just working from home - he is old enough that you could pop out at 3 and pick him up, and he can amuse himself. It's less than ideal but it would work.

Another thing to consider would be setting up as a childminder yourself? Sounds like there would be demand for it?

Do you have a partner?

Can you stagger your full time days, so partner drops off at breakfast club every day, and you start work earlier than partner, maybe somewhere like a supermarket? You do a full day / 8 hrs and finish before pick up.

Try for a full-time job that allows you to work 9-3 and 2h flexibly, eg 7-9pm at home. Look into paying another parent cover - I work 9-3 and would be happy to take another (well-behaved) child to the park/home for Lego for an hour for extra cash.

What sort of work are you looking for?
I do domiciliary care work. Pay is rubbish, but the hours work. I do 8-2 or 3. You could also do an evening run and/or weekends, if there's a partner at home.
You'd need childcare for school holidays, of course.

I do have a partner but he's out the house from 7am - 6pm every day. Breakfast Club doesn't start until 745.

I wouldn't uproot him, if he does have ASD you might find he struggles a lot with the transition and doesn't settle well into the new school. ASD children often become school refusers. I would find work that fit in as best as possible.

If there’s any way you can keep him where he is, I would.

I have an autistic 6 year old, who is doing well in a mainstream school with small class sizes: he absolutely would not cope in a large busy mainstream with 30 in a class. Realistically he would be missing half the days because of school refusal, and we’d end up having to pull him out and home educate. I’ve seen it happen to loads of the friends I know through autism support groups.

Life with a SEN child is very very complicated. If you’ve found a school that works for him then you should do everything possible to keep him there.

So in your shoes I would:

• look for flexible (maybe remote) jobs that you can do around school run
• cut costs for your household as much as possible so you can survive part time
• look for a nanny/another childminder/see if you can do childcare swaps with another parent

could any of those work?

I know it’s not ideal, but for now could you get a job that’s evenings and weekends? It sounds like your son is in the best place for him, so do everything you cannot to move him.

Another SEN mum here, I'd be very careful about moving your child - sounds like the school are doing a great job! If you move schools you may well have bigger problems and no job before you know it! I'd find a job that allows a little flexibility- SEN mum later kinda of need that more than most (I speak from experience).

Check with nurseries there are two in the two nearest towns to us who collect from multiple schools. I see their little buses all over the place.
Talk to other Mums at your school who may have ideas about after school care, or both before and after.

Look out for night shifts that finish at 6am - then you can get home before your partner leaves for work and you can drop your child at breakfast club. Sleep in the school day and hopefully an extra hour before work if your child goes to bed early.

Even better if your partner has any flexibility to help with either end of the school day so one of you can do drop offs and one pick ups.

If you can find a job earning more than your partner or similar money but with better potential earnings or more family friendly hours see if you can take it and your partner find a new job around your work instead.

Why not get an evening job?

DH can take DS to school in the mornings, whilst you can stay asleep and then you can pick him up from school.

Lots of places over evening work: supermarkets, care homes, factories, 111 call handlers etc

Not sure where you are but round here there are a lot of holiday lets & so lots of cleaning jobs (pay circa £15ph). The timings would work well for school runs etc.

If he's doing well where he is, I'd do everything I could to keep him there. For a potentially autistic child the move will be very unsettling, if it's to a bigger school that may also cause problems and if he's unsettled by all that, he may not cope with longer days on top anyway.

Would working nights work? I leave after the kids are asleep and get home before DH leaves for work. Alternatively something evenings/weekends/ flexitime or work from home so you can nip out for pick up.

You need a job that lets you work 30 hours over 830-230 so you can use breakfast club and not incur childcare fees in the afternoon. Added bonus if they'll let you pick the other hours up WFH flexibly.

You were going to find a part time job to fit in with the school runs - maybe look for such a job now?

Can you afford an after school nanny?

There is no guarantee you would get a place for after school club in another school if they are in high demand.

Is there no way you could get an evening and weekend job until you've finished your degree?

Don't move him!
Why have your finances changed so massively suddenly? I get COL but has your mortgage gone up or what else? What's your course in? Is it worth sticking with it if it gives you better earning potential? Will you get another shot if you quit? What about working from home around school? There's a lot of flexible civil service jobs, nhs bank admin jobs, etc.
I worked as a cleaner for a bit. At £15 per hour it was better money than most office jobs with more flexibility and I could listen to podcasts that interested me whilst cleaning. Maybe you could even work it around uni?
Also have you applied for DLA and carers allowance, checked if you're entitled to Uc?
It's hard and I get your frustration. As an ASD mum I have often found myself worrying if I can actually have a career. But if you want it enough and your kid can cope in school you absolutely can.

Mortgage has gone up. All our bills have. Food, too. Actually I should have got a job about 9-10 months ago but we've been burying our heads in the sand. We now have about 16k of debt too, combination of loan, CC and Overdrafts. Unexpected bills and day to day living.

Have worked previously as a customer service advisor. After I had DS I have done cleaning and housekeeping. That's the sum of my job history.

I'd prefer to be in an office environment again or WFH, admin, etc. Over cleaning or care work but also don't feel like I'm in a position to be picky anymore.

I did start a TA job in September and I loved it. Best job I've ever had. But I finished just after DS' then had to get from my school to his and it wasn't workable. I would have needed to leave half an hour early everyday and sadly the school couldn't offer me that so I had to resign.