Do I have an issue with letting my Dd go or is this okay?

[Cheeseontoastfordinnertonight]

For context, we live overseas, school
starts at age 6, my Dd turned 5 in the summer. She goes to Pre school three full days per week, she’ll attend *Proper school full time in September.
Dd attends Pre school in the country we live in so is learning the native language. On the two days she is at home with me, I teach her reading and writing in English (I’m a teacher) We also sometimes visit the park, beach, shop, do crafts, see friends, visit the library, cafes etc.
Dd sees friends at Pre school and at the weekends and neighbours on the street after school, she also attends ballet lessons and is starting swimming after Christmas.
I work on the days Dd is in Pre school.
People seem to judge/have an issue with this and don’t understand why she isn’t in Pre school full time, her teacher implied that it may be that I have an issue letting her go/like having her with me…yes, I do! But I feel it also benefits Dd too and she’ll be at real school full time soon enough anyway.
I have friends who home school and friends who have had their dcs in nursery since they were babies.
Am I doing things the wrong way? Becoming really sick of others opinions

@thanksamillion Yes, I think it must be that…why so judgey though, why can’t people accept others choices? Homeschooling fully isn’t for me, but I understand different choices

@laclochette Its not France, I think I’d really struggle with that set up though!

If you do anything other than whatever is considered at that point in that place to be the 'standard', people will judge you.

If you do the standard and your child does not thrive on it, people will judge them (and you).

You don't owe people anything. You do what works for you and your children, and no one else's opinion matters.

I’m in this position too. I’m abroad and my DC is in pre-school. He is the only one in his class that is part time. I take him home after lunch. The headteacher isn’t happy about it and wants to persuade me to leave him all day every day (so my DH tells me.) It’s nothing to do with funding either.

You are doing things the way YOU want to and that is what matters. If you and your daughter are happy it's nobody else's business

It's probably just a culture clash. Do it your way if you are happy with it but if it is really unusual there people will comment.

Nope, it sounds lovely.

Hi OP, @Cheeseontoastfordinnertonight

Yes everyone has (had in past generations) full time jobs - same for men and women.

@Cheeseontoastfordinnertonight yes, it's hard when it's not your norm. I can't speak to any other countries I'm afraid, but that much more "statist" view to childrearing is definitely not limited to France, so I do wonder if it might be what's at play here too in some form.

@CatherinedeBourgh That’s true…just feeling a bit like people are assuming I’m this needy or over protective mum who can’t let my child go or something

@LakeTiticaca I’m trying hard to keep this in my mind!

It's just a different cultural norm.
I live abroad too, and eldest is in full time preschool and won't start school until she's 6.
I remember on the open day, I asked if DD could do 3 days a week instead of 5, and they looked at me funnily! They said she could, but it's really not the done thing.

@Lollipopsandcandycanes Its so weird isn’t it? Especially nowadays with the different educational choices parents make etc. How old is your boy and what are her reasons for wanting him to be full time?

I was really pissed off last week as when I was walking out of school, one of the mums, who I like was a bit rude to me and asking if my Dd was in every day and saying that it was *School after all. Later on when I’d calmed a bit, I texted her saying that my Dd was in X days and has a routine and the other days I teach her English reading & writing so she doesn’t get behind. I said it was all good and that I had friends full time homeschooling and others who had their babies in nursery from 6 months etc. She texted back apologising and just said she thought my Dd was always sick and that of course I am her mum and make the decisions that are correct for my child. We were both friendly to each other, but I thought she had a damn cheek!

Do the pre school get funding for every full time child maybe?

He is three now but the headteacher started talking about him going full time from about 2 and a half.

Not heard her reasons why as of yet, it’s just been mentioned to my DH. I don’t speak the language so I haven’t directly spoken to her. I’m interested to know why he can’t spend time at home with me though, especially when he’s still so young. I’m also a SAHM so plenty of time for him.

@Lollipopsandcandycanes What does your Dh think? As mine is sort of starting to question it too as they go on about it so much

@throughgrittedteeth I’m not sure 🤔 She did mention once that there was a big waiting list for children that wanted to come, but Dd is in her second year now

He thinks the same as me. We don’t want him there full time if he doesn’t need to be.

I’m sticking to my guns 💪

@Lollipopsandcandycanes Good for you, me too, but I’m fighting it alone it seems!

Hi OP,

My DC loves to be at home with me and I have had these comments all his life. It's a pain in the behind. I feel as though as soon as we reach motherhood everybody and their dog has an opinion about what we do.

@KeepingTrying Its awful isn’t it, like you’re doing something wrong when we’re both really happy 💜
Is your son not at school?

Or daughter