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Please help I’m so stuck

4 replies

StuckInHove · 13/11/2023 14:46

Things with DH have never really been great and if I’m honest I regretted marrying him straight away but I was 4 months pregnant and vulnerable and felt it was my only option. 15 years later, we have 4 dc and it’s gone from bad to worse. He is an alcoholic (won’t admit to it) and although he has never physically hurt me, he is verbally abusive and aggressive when drunk. He is also financially controlling.

Things got worse after I went back to work, part-time, after being a sahp for over 10 years. He didn’t like not knowing where I was all the time. He didn’t like me making new friends, being independent, socialising. His drinking had definitely gotten worse in the last 18 months.

I just can’t stay in the house with him anymore but feel so trapped with nowhere to go. I only work part time so have no savings. I have very bad credit due to him previously opening cards in my name and defaulting on payments. He owned the house we live in before we got married so is the only one on the mortgage. I’ve been to the council and there is a 15-year waiting list in my town for a property. I am on the waiting list.

I just don’t know what to do. I am miserable every single day. The dc are miserable. He’s always in a bad mood. He definitely won’t move and says if we want to leave, the dc and I will have to go. I just don’t have anywhere to go.

Does anyone have any advice on what I can do. I just feel so stuck and my head is not in a good place so I don’t know what to do. I can’t afford a deposit and a months rent for a private rental and I don’t have any family support whatsoever.

OP posts:
lost78300 · 13/11/2023 14:48

Contact women's aid. They will help you get somewhere to stay and give you advice regarding money and what you would be due if you split.

Catza · 13/11/2023 14:49

You need to contact womens shelter and they can talk you through your options. As a victim of domestic violence (given financial abuse etc.) you will be a priority for rehousing

AltheaVestr1t · 13/11/2023 14:49

I'm sorry you are in this situation, that sounds very stressful for you and DC. Women's refuge charities would be a good first port of call. If you can't find help here, can you explore taking out a credit card to finance a deposit on a rental? Even with bad credit there are usually options available.

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