To think I’m screwed?

[MushroomsandRaspberries]

I have ADHD but am not on medication because my mental health support wants to manage it with behavioural stuff.

Since I had my toddler I have been in stress mode. It is getting worse. No familial support and I work for myself part time. DC goes to nursery 15 hours to help with this but by the time I’ve walked the dog, done some housework and worked I have no time to relax. I’m constantly exhausted, I am always stressed. I’m on sertraline for depression and have had counselling but this hasn’t been effective so they’re referring me for intense counselling. I cannot relax. I’ve tried meditation, yoga, mindfulness, grateful journaling, Headspace app - nothing works. I take a multivitamin and get outside daily.

Im constantly grinding me teeth and clean hung my jaw. Im no longer hungry in the morning which is a sign of cortisol issues. I crave sugar constantly and I cannot sleep no matter what. My hormones are disrupted and it’s causing me issues. I look terrible.

I don’t know how to change this? I’ve begged my GP but they just recommend all the stuff I’ve done like journaling and mindfulness but it’s not working. I’m frightened about my heart, I get dizzy spells and fluttering. I’m frightened I’m going to get Alzheimer’s or die young due to the pressure this is putting on me. But what can I do? How can I change it? I follows a woman on Instagram who says she can help but you have to pay for that help and I can’t afford it.

My doctor said she would sign me off but from what? My child? My own business? How can I protect my physical and mental health here?

Thank you.

Sorry I have posted this in AIBU, I’m just so desperate

What are the reasons for them not giving you ADHD meds? So many of your issues can be helped by them! When I first started mine, I was able to come off my ads and beta blockers as they reduced my anxiety so much.

I can't do meditation or mindfulness. Journalling, well, I may do 2-3 entries then forget it exists. My brain is way too busy, although much less so than without meds. My ridiculous ear worms now don't stay with me for weeks.

Yes this is so true. I downloaded some hypnotherapy recordings and stopped listening to them, I just have no staying power.

I honestly don’t know, I’ve been told that meds aren’t really given out so behavioural therapy is best? But since I’ve had my child everything has become so extreme, I just cannot sort my head out.

Hey there,
Hope you start to feel better soon. If you have the time and interest can I suggest taking a look at this? There are strong links between diet and mental health and diet and auto immune issues.

The first line of treatment is medication. You can't fix ADHD with just behavioural tools. I'm not sure if the NICE guidelines have changed on this but it might be worth looking them up and then going back to your GP or your mental health team.

Once you are medicated it usually becomes easier to use behavioural strategies or tools.

Maybe I'm biased but I'd be very wary of someone on Instagram telling you they can help you for payment in return.

The NHS website itself says that what works best is a combination of medication and behaviour

www.nhs.uk/conditions/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd/treatment/#:~:text=ADHD%20can%20be%20treated%20using,be%20monitored%20by%20a%20GP.

I haven’t read this yet but I have a really good diet. I eat loads of fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds, chicken, no read meat etc. I take multivitamins and all sorts of other things. But the sugar cravings have become out of control recently as the stress has piled and piled. But I’ve always had a good, complete diet. I don’t know what more I can do with my diet to make it better. I follow the 30 different things a week rule. Today so far I’ve eaten garlic mushrooms and tomatoes on wholemeal toast with spinach. Grapes and pear for snack. Going to have a salad with feta and nuts for lunch and chicken with brown rice and veg for dinner. I think my diet is good enough?

This is from the NICE Guidelines…….

Adults

These recommendations are for healthcare professionals with training and expertise in diagnosing and managing ADHD. See recommendation 1.4.3 for details of ADHD-focused information.

1.5.15 Offer medication to adults with ADHD if their ADHD symptoms are still causing a significant impairment in at least one domain after environmental modifications have been implemented and reviewed. See the recommendations on medication choice. [2018]

1.5.16 Consider non-pharmacological treatment for adults with ADHD who have:

• made an informed choice not to have medication
• difficulty adhering to medication
• found medication to be ineffective or cannot tolerate it. [2018]

1.5.17 Consider non-pharmacological treatment in combination with medication for adults with ADHD who have benefited from medication but whose symptoms are still causing a significant impairment in at least one domain. [2018]

1.5.18 When non-pharmacological treatment is indicated for adults with ADHD, offer the following as a minimum:

• a structured supportive psychological intervention focused on ADHD
• regular follow‑up either in person or by phone.
• Treatment may involve elements of or a full course of CBT. [2018]

You can read them online. https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng87/chapter/Recommendations#managing-adhd

Go back to the doctor or a different doctor and take an advocate with you.

Unfortunately, if you are recently diagnosed with ADHD it may be next to impossible to be prescribed medication for the first time, as there are prolonged international shortages in all types of ADHD medication, currently expected to last the rest of the year.

That still shouldn’t exclude the OP if there is a clear clinical need for the medication to be prescribed. A shortage simply means they may have to wait longer to get it. It doesn’t mean it can be used as an excuse not to prescribe an indicated medication.

Ffs OP, you don't need a "diet" you need a break.

I'm adhd-spicy but have found a calm place so I know it's possible but also I know how to get here.

Yeah, you've got loads on and I really empathise with the overwhelming amount of noise going on.

You have to juggle, and this is something you can do. You can keep track of all the balls, you just need a system. First you need to work out which balls are plastic and which are glass. The plastic balls can get dropped. The glass balls you prioritise. So glass ball is keeping everyone fed, plastic ball is home cooked every night.

I'm sure instagram lady looks great but it's a distraction and hyperfocus. Think of the stuff that is boringly helpful, sleep, reduce doom scrolling, eat vegetables, go for walks etc (and all much cheaper).

You need mates and a laugh - is there anyone you can zoom or invite round? This will make you feel 1 billion times better than yoga (sorry yoga)

Take all the journaling and CBT with a pinch of salt. It is all designed for non-neurodiverse brains so it doesn't always add up. Yes helpful to unpick patterns but also probably just confirms the essential (and untrue) belief there is something a bit wrong with you and deep down if you tried a bit harder everything would be golden. It's useful but tad gaslighty!

Lastly you need to hack your brain. In the right place you can do double the work of a normal person in half the time. But crucially, this is not something you can do all the time for all of time and remember your 60% can be some one else's 100%. Work out what that looks like for you and learn other ways to motivate yourself (interest, salience) over stress and pressure.

Also get your iron levels checked.

Honestly, you can do this!

Hi OP, did you get your hormone levels tested recently? Too little or elevated hormone levels can terribly impact one’s mind and behaviours.

All kinds of bonus adhd thoughts coming now....

Before motherhood I would have been described externally as hyper organised, zero chance of adhd (internally another matter) but motherhood blew away ALL my coping strategies and systems and I was just lost.

There is a fairly good chance your kid is adhd. Work on this stuff now and you'll be so proud to see you don't short circuit to shaming them as the best way to motivate. It's beautiful and really healing to help them work with their brains and strengths.

Hi OP. Wow, your post has resonated so much with me. I've been trying to write the exact same post for a couple of days. I've never had the best organisational and time management skills, and my coping strategies was for simply for work to eat into my home life. Since having my DD 21months ago I've been barely able to function and things are so much worse. I'm now being investigated in work for things I've done/haven't done because I'm simply unable to initiate anything. I don't know what the answer is, but injustice wanted to let you know you aren't alone x

Neurodiversity isn't mental health. You can't fix ND with fucking fruit and veg.

OP ignore all the batshit stupid suggestions on here (as opposed to the sensible ones) and go and ask (and stand your ground) for a referral to community mental health (ironically) where a psychiatrist can get you your medication. This is your right to treatment under NICE guidelines.

A GP generally can't start you on ADHD meds as most of them are controlled drugs. She is fobbing you off and would rather watch you ruin your life, sign you off etc rather than just refer you to the person who can give you the medication you need.

Care coordinators and MH nurses are also unable to sort out medication and some of them are hippy dippy types with no understanding of how NDs are different to the anxiety and depression NT people experience or that getting the right medication for your ND can solve it all and breathing and meditation and going for a bloody walk and eating a fruit actually can't.

You need to push to see an actual psychiatrist.

Nothing else will sort this out.

Once you are on medication you can look at the other stuff to optimise your life but right now none of it is big enough to help with this.

Ps. You're chugging sugar for dopamine. Clever body!

But not a perfect system!

Caffeine, music, crunchy snacks and funny vids and exercise (especially weights) are also neat little routes to a little bit of dopamine. Especially as the meds supply issue is a long way off from resolving.

Right now you are living life on hard mode. You just need to adjust the settings to get to easy or easier mode.

Told by who? were you diagnosed by a psychiatrist? did they not offer meds?

This makes zero sense as the first line treatment is medication. Once on medication turn behavioural therapy has a chance of working.

If you have the time and interest can I suggest taking a look at this? There are strong links between diet and mental health and diet and auto immune issues.

WTAF. Of course everyone should have a decent diet. This in no way, shape or form replaces the need for medication though, how irresponsible.

My mental health nurse? I see her regularly and this is what she told me…

Who diagnosed your ADHD and why did they not prescribe?

Local ADHD team and I was put back to the mental health care team…

You should have been diagnosed by a psychiatrist. They should then ask you to have certain healthchecks and then offer you a medication appointment.

Okay, I’m going to get back on this and find out what’s going on.

thanks