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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if anyone else has NEVER cooked Christmas dinner

273 replies

OrtolanLBunting · 13/11/2023 07:43

Or lunch depending on when you have the main meal.

I'm well into middle age but have never done it. Am happy to peel veg, set the table, clear away and wash up every single thing.

But cook it - never! wouldn't know where to start. And don't go saying it's just a Sunday roast cos I've never done one of those either.

Anyone else?

OP posts:
Original poster
OrtolanLBunting · 13/11/2023 08:40

If you can read you can learn to cook

Oh can we have a thread where no one patronises any one else.

No judgement - just a chat amongst those of us who have never cooked a Christmas dinner.

OP posts:
MrShady · 13/11/2023 08:41

Never cooked a roast or Christmas dinner
TBF I've only eaten Christmas dinner once

OrtolanVeil · 13/11/2023 08:41

Nothing to do with the thread but OP has reminded me of this old username... at least, I really hope it's nothing to do with OP's Christmas dinner...

KimberleyClark · 13/11/2023 08:42

OrtolanLBunting · 13/11/2023 08:40

If you can read you can learn to cook

Oh can we have a thread where no one patronises any one else.

No judgement - just a chat amongst those of us who have never cooked a Christmas dinner.

The poster I was responding to was insisting that she couldn’t cook, rather than that she wouldn’t cook. I was taking issue with that.

Ballsbaill · 13/11/2023 08:43

OrtolanLBunting · 13/11/2023 08:40

If you can read you can learn to cook

Oh can we have a thread where no one patronises any one else.

No judgement - just a chat amongst those of us who have never cooked a Christmas dinner.

I also think it isn't true. If it was as simple as following a receipe we'd all be capable of cooking like gourmet chefs. The reality is its easy to over heat / underheat / spoil it at the critical moment, etc

Many people don't have the time to perfect it or just don't like it.

Original poster
OrtolanLBunting · 13/11/2023 08:43

Some people on this thread are taking it so personally that some people have never cooked a Christmas meal. Don't worry, we're not asking you to do it!

🙂
Although if DH were incapacitated on Xmas day ...

OP posts:
Selttan · 13/11/2023 08:44

I never have - we've always had it at my parents. I've contributed but not done the main event. This year I'll have to step up as my mum is undergoing cancer treatment. Luckily there's a couple of us to share between.

Original poster
OrtolanLBunting · 13/11/2023 08:45

I was taking issue with that

Why were you taking issue with it? Can't you just ... chill?

OP posts:
AngelicInnocent · 13/11/2023 08:45

Cook one every year but to be honest, when the last of the older relatives are no longer with us, I will stop. Would much rather do an Indian or Chinese banquet on the day. Then traditional English buffet foods on boxing day and a smaller version of Xmas Dinner on new year's day

PinkflowersWhiteBerries · 13/11/2023 08:45

Stick to not cooking it. I did it for the first time in my late 20s, recently married , very keen. After about 20 years I realised that was a big mistake. I don’t do it any more 😂

saoirse31 · 13/11/2023 08:45

Ofgs, its a dinner, just do it.

Purplebunnie · 13/11/2023 08:46

Nope OH does it and most of the cooking, we'd starve if I cooked, I'm terrible at it.

KimberleyClark · 13/11/2023 08:47

Ballsbaill · 13/11/2023 08:43

I also think it isn't true. If it was as simple as following a receipe we'd all be capable of cooking like gourmet chefs. The reality is its easy to over heat / underheat / spoil it at the critical moment, etc

Many people don't have the time to perfect it or just don't like it.

Show quote history

Not saying it doesn’t take practice and some recipes just don’t work. But anyone can learn basic cooking. It’s interesting, men who can’t or won’t cook aren’t highly thought of on here but it seems to be ok for women.

2chocolateoranges · 13/11/2023 08:48

Dh cooks in our house, always has. It’s the getting things ready all at the same time which stresses me out! I’ve tried cooking, I don’t like it, dh inevitably takes over and I get annoyed, so he does all the cooking.

RuthW · 13/11/2023 08:48

Me. I'm 55 and will never do it

KimberleyClark · 13/11/2023 08:48

OrtolanLBunting · 13/11/2023 08:45

I was taking issue with that

Why were you taking issue with it? Can't you just ... chill?

This is a discussion forum. Disagreement is allowed.

vivainsomnia · 13/11/2023 08:50

I'm mid 50 and had never cooked it until 2 years ago. I really enjoyed doing it, it tasted really nice and I really didn't get what all the fuss was all about (and I am not a cook otherwise, only do very basics).

alwaysmovingforwards · 13/11/2023 08:53

OrtolanLBunting · 13/11/2023 08:40

If you can read you can learn to cook

Oh can we have a thread where no one patronises any one else.

No judgement - just a chat amongst those of us who have never cooked a Christmas dinner.

Well put it in chat and title it appropriately then.

AIBU that a grown adult can't cook a roast lunch?
Imo yeah.

CurlewKate · 13/11/2023 08:54

Incidentally-I am an excellent cook and I love cooking very much. I just don't cook Christmas dinner.

And I think it's absolutely fine not to like cooking or not to want to cook. Or to find the prospect of cooking a big meal with high expectations paralysingly intimidating. But I have seen too many threads where women are talking, often with amused indulgence, about their male partners not being able to cook so they have to do it all to find adults not being able to cook even the basics amusing.

RedPony1 · 13/11/2023 08:56

Nope, never!

My mum is in her 70's, she still goes to the stables daily and does manual chores, so she finds cooking so easy and no way is she letting me (or anyone!) anywhere near the kitchen! Which is good, because i've said this so many times but i HATE cooking.

I can count on one hand how many times i've ever even peeled a vegetable, i always buy frozen.

Customs · 13/11/2023 08:57

Not me but SIL (in her 40s) and family always went to her mum's. When mum passed away 5 years ago, they started to go to her grandma. Grandma is 90+ and frail, and last year said it's not possible anymore, so they stayed at home and didn't have a Christmas dinner, because they felt it was too much hard work (they are great cooks too). Ruined it for the rest of the family too as she rang all of us on Christmas Day and literally cried about how they don't have a Christmas Dinner Angry

Freetodowhatiwant · 13/11/2023 08:58

I’ve never done one either, almost 50. But I find cooking really nerve racking. Since becoming a parent I’ve cooked pretty much every day but generally I’ve always been in a relationship with who really likes cooking and therefore is a much better and happier cook.

STBXDH cooked when we were together (but like I said I did a lot more cooking - the basics - than pre-kids just because I was home earlier) but if we are going to my parents for Christmas, which we mainly are now, my mum will do the Christmas dinner.

Usually when at my parents house my dad cooks but are not a Sunday roast family so this is the one time a year one gets rolled out and it’s more of my mum’s domain.

I have to admit that recently I’ve been craving a roast dinner (although I don’t eat meat) so I am thinking of maybe trying to follow a step by step guide, but the thought does make me very nervous. Not everyone is good at or enjoys doing the same things. I think I will just wait until Christmas dinner made by my mum!

Thisbastardcomputer · 13/11/2023 08:59

My mother got away with it all her life, mind you her cooking was appalling. I never understood why someone with four children and a love of food, never learned to cook.

I made sure I learned, from various people who could cook, my grandma and my mother in law, they enjoyed teaching me.

No one in the family ever turns down a dinner invitation from me.

Christmas dinner is no biggie, it's basically Sunday lunch upgraded, so many things come prepared these days to help. Planning helps and one of those keep warm trays, which aren't expensive.

Ihateboris · 13/11/2023 08:59

I'm almost 53 and I've never cooked a Christmas meal. Having said that, I don't have children, have never been married, live alone and hate cooking 😒

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 13/11/2023 09:02

I cook Christmas Dinner but I generally cook dinner most nights. We don't do the whole "Christmas dinner" thing though, we just have whatever we feel like from the freezer (albeit served on Christmas themed tablewear). Ie I have never cooked a formal Christmas Dinner.

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