Urge to talk to old flings despite being in a relationship & having a child

[Lifeissues]

I have been with my partner for 5 years and we have a 3 year old together.

He is lovely. Helpful and amazing with our son who is autistic with complex needs.

I realised I’ve been feeling down and anxious for a while and over the past few months I’ve noticed his lack of interest in me.

He rarely compliments me, I’ve gained a lot of weight as I have PCOS and had PND which didn’t help. He rarely kisses me or gives me a cuddle. Most nights we’re on our phones at separate ends of the sofa. We have sex about 4 times a week - but I initiate it and it’s always in the ‘doggy’ position, not romantic and while we’re doing it it feels like a task to tick off, something to convince me the relationship is ok.

Tonight I’ve had the urge to reach out to previous flings and I don’t really know why. I just feel desperately alone and unattractive.

I’m not going to of course but I don’t like this feeling and don’t know how I would talk about that with my partner.

I have said to him I don’t feel like he loves me any more and he tells me he absolutely does and would never leave me. So why does it feel like he’s going to?

I’m just longing for the feeling of being wanted and right now that’s not happening. I just feel desperately sad right now.

Speak to your partner!! It would need to be a serious conversation where you get everything out in the open. How is he feeling? Having children is hard on relationships, so having one with complex needs and autism is bound to have an even greater effect.
best to tell him how you feel. He might be feeling the same as you and a good conversation can be the catalyst to send things in the right direction.

too many people are willing to throw away good partners for the sake of an old fling or new fling. It is quite sad.

You need to talk to him.
And start making love, not having a shag.