Before we had kids my DM was that lady who couldn’t wait to be a granny and would talk about it a lot. When we were expecting our first child it was a running joke that we’d never get rid of her.
That hasn’t been the case at all.
We now have 2 kids DD(2) and DS(1). Now DM does mind the kids once a week to allow me to go to work. She has made it clear that this is all she is willing to do despite the fact that she doesn’t work or do anything else. So I do evenings and weekends to work around my partner too. This is something we don’t mind as we do understand that 2 kids at these ages all day is tough.
While I appreciate the help one day per week, I had always thought we’d do more as a family. No matter what I suggest she aways has an excuse. She’ll be getting her nails done or she won’t leave her dogs. (Two of the most poorly trained awful dogs) I started taking the kids to a tots group in her village and calling in after which I thought made for a nice tradition but quite often she makes it very plain that she doesn’t want us or she’ll make alternative plans despite being able to do these things any day of the week. I offer to have them over for dinner at the weekends and they always say no. I invite them for walks they always say no. They never calls to see us (we live 5 mins away). I feel like I’m constantly making the effort to be a family and I’m getting very little back and quite frankly I’m exhausted. I genuinely thought I’d have a little village raising these kids but I just don’t.
We hung out all the time with my parents before having the kids. It feels like now that it’s not all fun and games and getting pissed they can’t be bothered.
anyway, it’s not the biggest problem in the world but it just makes me sad that we don’t do more together as a family. I really didn’t foresee it being this way as we were all so close before the kids came along.
am I being unreasonable to have expected more from my parents?
Or should I just be thankful for what I’ve got it’s more than a lot of folks have?