To be tempted to change DS surname?

[Justgoodforthegetting]

I have a beautiful DS aged 2, his dad and I are no longer together after he ended the relationship earlier in the year, we were not married.

DS has his dads surname which goes beautifully with his Christian name as at the time of registering his birth it wasn’t even something I gave a second thought to in all honesty, which is a decision I now regret in part. I just genuinely and perhaps naively believed that me and my ex would get married fairly soon and we’d all share the same surname.

Now I feel quite sad about the fact that I’ll never have the same surname as DS and I’m wondering whether to approach ex to ask how he’d feel if I were to change his surname to “mysurname-exsurname” or vice versa. So at least both of our names are there.
A friend suggested I change my own surname to that of ex but I feel that would look quite odd so don’t think I really want to do that.

Is this something I should suggest? Let this be a cautionary tale to those of you having babies before being married by the way, if I could go back and give him my own surname I would.

Hi , I really regret not changing my eldest child’s surname when they were younger. My waste of space ex doesn’t see her , and she has a different surname to the rest of our family.

Nothing to stop you asking. My two sons don't have the same last name as me and its not that big a deal for us.

Yes it’s reasonable. If he says no you could possibly even force it via the courts. You’d be considered unreasonable if you wanted to remove his surname, but adding yours is very reasonable now the relationship has broken down and it isn’t a possibility for you to be married to your sons father and take his name that way.
Your friend has a point in that you can actually change your own last name to almost anything (including your ex’s surname). If having the same surname as your child is the most important thing to you and your ex refuses to allow a namechange to your child’s surname, you can change your own without anyone else’s permission. (I’m assuming you’re in the UK - the rules vary by country).

Don't double barrell. Just says compromise .. parents not married. Changing your name to match your son sounds ok if his name is nicer than yours!

What a bollocks assumption.

My husband and I double barrelled our names when we got married. We both took each others.

Our kids are the same.

Double barrelling is very reasonable here. dont take his name!!