I’m annoyed but I don’t know if I should be..

[whatonearthhhhxc]

ok not sure if I’m just in my own head or if this would annoy other people..

DP owns his own business in the building trade, he leaves early and is usually home around 6/6:30, this is on days he doesn’t dip into the pub on his way home, this started as one day which I would be invited to, kids would have tea etc max 2.5 hrs, he would drink with friends some of mine would be in there, this is religiously every week and now he goes another day in the week straight from work couple of hours max.

now on a Sunday he will ask if I mind him going for a couple of hours to watch football, which I don’t mind, but I’m left with 2 DC 8&2 for a few hours Sunday afternoons, but annoying as everywhere is usually closing so not really time of day to go out etc,

am I being unreasonable or is this annoying?

im not sure if I’m being touchy or just jealous haha

That amount of time in the pub when you have small children would irritate me also.

Does he help with house/kids otherwise?

You tell him you don’t mind but actually you do mind? That’s not great.

I don’t think he’s being unreasonable, but it’s also OK for you to ask for some time for yourself in return, and for some weekends/Sundays to be family time.

Do you know what you actually want? Is it more support with DC, more family time, more time to yourself for hobbies or seeing friends?

I go to a fitness class once a week, have nails once a month and hair every 3 months on my own, but I don’t go out with my friends as often as I’d like I spose but we’re all married/have young dc so unless it’s a planned night /day spur of the moment don’t happen

I’ve just dropped him now and I feel silly saying no you can’t go, I’m not his mother ?

If you’re not happy with it then speak to him. It does seem quite excessive to me

It seems to end up in a silly argument and nothing really changes

I would want the same amount of time for myself/my own plans. That’s what I would ask for.

but if you want more family time instead, ask for that. If you’re not ok with, then tell him. I wouldn’t be ok with it either fwiw.

I don’t feel like we have much weekend time left if I was to do the same, and I suppose I feel guilty because it’s family time he has no issue with me going out if I do

i dunno you know when you just kind of expect the sanely priorities almost ?

Over the summer when football isn't on, do you have days out? What's boxing day like?

Yeah have holidays days out etc, Christmas we’re always together Boxing Day is the same and New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day.

So he goes to the pub twice a week for a few hours and frequently goes to watch football on Sunday afternoons? When is your regular down time?

Stop telling him you’re ok with it when you’re not.

Not as regular as this.. I do go out but like I say it’s more planed nights/days etc. not spur of the moment of “I’m just popping for a coffee with so and so”

I can’t broach it without feeling like I’m being irrational or controlling in a sense?

See I asked about boxing day because that's a main football day. It sounds as though he is fair, but likes to watch the match occasionally. What were the discussions before you planned the second baby? If he was home, what would he be doing? I think three times a week is a bit much, I'd ask about dropping one night, unless it is to genuinely watch football. Does he get work via the pub?

We didn’t really discuss it because it didn’t happen this frequently, he’s had a few jobs from there and gained an employee.