To ask if this sounds entitled? (Work/nursery)

[dancinnj]

I generally work from home. I’m going back 3 days a week, single parent. I’m planning on dropping at 8:30, back to start work at 9, finish work at 4, so I can be back at 4:45 latest to do dinner and have some time before bed. My hours are 9-5:30 so I would have to take a half hour lunch and do another in the evening at some point. I’m an accountant so this can typically be ok I think. Would I sound entitled to ask for this?

And therein lies the problem. People working normal office hours have to start scheduling meetings to avoid special requests by people like OP. So those people cannot do what needs to be done between 4-4.45. Should they just accept that OP is available for 45 mins less per day? Or should they start working in the evenings to match OP’s hours?

No accountant needs to be meetings for 7.5 hours each day. If they did, they wouldn't actually be doing their job. A little flexibility with hours could easily prevent the loss of good employees.

I love the fact that the business I work for accepts that everyone has the right to request flexibility, not just working mums, so it's seen as normal. I'm a chartered accountant.

You're essentially asking to have core hours of 9-4 and to work flexitime for the others. It's not a radical request.

@tpxqi yeah I get that. I’d be available if needs be in that scenario.

@user1846385927482658 i will present it like this, I wasn’t sure how to phrase it! I’ve literally never asked for any flexibility before so I’m nervous.

@roses2 i want to collect at 4:15, they could stay later but dinner/bed/time with dc would be cut if I left it later.

You are entitled to ask for any kind of flexible working arrangement.

It's your responsibility to set out how this can work.

Employer can agree or disagree. If they disagree they need to do so for a specific business reason.

In my workplace your proposal would be accepted with no issues.

This.

However, as a manager, I would be concerned about the impact on you. Admittedly I had two horrible sleepers but I found that when I first went back after maternity leave that by the time I had got both kids into bed, dealt with the disaster zone that we called a kitchen, dealt with the three evening wake ups that seemed to happen and got myself into bed early as I’d be up 3 times in the night, there was only about 90 minutes left of “evening”.

You do need time for you or you will end up ill.

I think this working pattern is much easier with older children.

If you’re going back to work and your DC is still a baby and you’re doing everything on your own then I think finding time/energy to do the extra hour in the evening is unrealistic. That shouldn’t be your employers concern but it’ll likely be bloody hard on you.

But who knows perhaps you have an amazing sleeper and don’t feel like a zombie half the time.

Could you as PP suggested sell it as you’ll be working core hours between 9 and 4 and then catch up on the other hours over the whole week? Not just on your 3 working days? In my mind that would give you much more flexibility to do work independently perhaps during nap times during the day rather than trying to cram it all into the evenings after you’ve already worked a full day?

Eitherway it depends a lot on the culture of the workplace.

I think it's ok to ask for this, but are you sure this is what you want OP? To me it sounds quite tiring to work until 4, do pick up / dinner / bed for the DC and then work another hour in the evening after DC has gone to bed. Personally I'd prefer to work until 5 and pick up DC with work finished for the day. You still get 2 days a week plus weekends with your DC.

Could you ask for a little informal flexibility for the first few weeks while you settle back in? Were you working three days before maternity leave or is this a new arrangement?

If it's new then being honest it might seem a little cheeky, but also will you really want to work in the evenings? You'll have more days together than not so working 'normal' days three days a week - especially when working from home the majority of the time - should be fine. You need to think of your own well-being and if you are paying for a full day at nursery you might as well use it.

No, it just means having meetings between 9 and 4 and doing other work after that. Although OP has said she will do later meetings if necessary anyway. If you have some control over your own diary it's easy enough to avoid meetings at particular times.

To me the main concern would be quality of life , it is a drag having to work every evening, I work some evenings but wouldn't want to 5 days a week.

It sounds like you might be working somewhere small-ish if this is new territory?

There's guidance from Acas on flexible working requests etc here:

https://www.acas.org.uk/flexible-working

To ask who? Your employer may require a formal flexible working request or offer flexi time. How late is nursery open?

This would be seen as fine where I work. No harm in finding out!

Honestly I think it’s ok from the company’s pov but I would worry about committing to work every evening. If you were up and down all evening with a poorly / restless baby, could you catch up with the work later in the week? Even good sleepers get hit by colds and bugs especially in the winter.

at that age I preferred to work til 5 and then I was done.

Does anyone else at your workplace do this and if so can you see how it’s going for them?

My employer has seen a huge increase in requests like these post lockdown and they’ve started to get nervous because everyone who’s asked for the arrangement never (or maybe once in a blue moon) does the ‘evening’ shift. It’s obvious because many of us are around then and our colleagues never reappear. It’s causing huge amounts of bad feeling as they’re essentially working 10 hours fewer per week (so part time) for a full time salary.

I’m not accusing you of dishonesty, I don’t even know you! Just sharing my experience. I can see why employers get nervous and it’s infuriating as wfh is such a boon for those like myself with disabilities.

I tried to do something similar and it became impossible as my children got a bit older as I was restarting work later and later. It made me really tired and stressed as I was constantly worrying about getting my hours done.
Personally I found giving them dinner a faff so could you pick up straight after dinner at nursery, at 5? Then you can come straight home and play/bath/bed without having to do domestic stuff with them there.

Definitely look at making up the extra hours on your non work days or just whenever you can rather than committing to evenings. Eases the burden for the inevitable bad sleep, nursery germs etc

If its only 3 days a week, just work until 5.30 then pick up at 6. 4.45 is usually around the time they do light tea and it's a tricky time to collect