To not want the new partner to come

[DinkyOne89]

Have an event for the children tomorrow. Ex-husband bringing his new partner and I will be gooseberry. AIBU to just want to go as a family unit? BTW I have no issue with her, have my own partner etc, all amicable. Just some things (this one thing) I’d like just us as a family to go.

Not enough info really.

Have they been together long? If you have no problem with her, what's the problem with her attending?

It wouldn't make you a gooseberry, it would just make you a mother attending without her own partner.

Almost a year, I suppose I just don’t want to look like a loner! But you’re right.

Can't you bring your new bf along? If not, just ask him if he'd come alone cos it'd be nice for the kids if it were just you 4.

But you’re not a family unit so you can’t attend as that - that might sound harsh but that family unit doesn’t exist anymore.

If you didn’t have the kids and it was something you was going to as a three then yes I can see why you’d feel like a gooseberry but you’re going as the kid’s mum.

Completely depends what the event is

Take your partner

The fact you’ve said you just don’t want to look like a loner is enough of a reason to vote YABU. Can your partner not go along with you?

How old are the children and what do they want?

You’re not a family anymore. YABU.

So because her partner isn't going she should not let her ex's partner go?

If her partner was going should she allow her to go?

You can't pick and choose when you want to be a "unit" plus they are no longer family. Both parents are DC's family but they are no longer anything to each other.

You don't get to dictate if he brings his girlfriend along unfortunately.
Best to just accept things how they are.
Why would you feel like a gooseberry though?

She's part of the family unit as well now though isn't she? Same as your partner - can you bring them along too?

I think that you just need to accept this.
So many families are split up now so it's just going to be the new normal.

Depends on the event but in reality you are not a family unit, unless you still continue to act as one for outings etc. Could you bring your new bf perhaps?

If your partner is available i'd bring him along.

Really nice for the kids to have all 4 most significant adults in their lives enjoying an outing together :)

I think you have to suck it up

You are separated now, you don't get to pick and choose who he brings. Same as he doesn't get to choose what you do. You'll still be a family unit. Family units come in all different shapes and sizes.

If we knew what the event was, I think then a view could be taken.

You don't want to go as a "family unit" though. Which you need to stop calling that, as it doesn't exist anymore.

You just don't like that your partner isn't going so want to stop his going. You don't want to look like Billy no mates and you're trying to dress it up as something else. Grow up and just get on with it.