Expensive Xmas Gifts

[WinterChristmasBlues]

Hello,

First time posting here, but I’ve been a lurker for months.

I’d like some advice on to how to deal with my 7 year old who has requested some very expensive gifts this year.

Ninebot Go-Kart
Lego Avengers Tower
Telescope
Books

We can afford to buy them for him, but as his mother I can openly admit that he does have some very “brattish ways” and is already very spoilt.

However, he is very well behaved at school, never embarrasses us in public but does tend to misbehave and not listen at home, which I usually put down to him being tired.

Would it be unreasonable of me to not buy everything he has asked for?

As him to pick one of those as his main present?

I suspect the telescope you could probably pick up cheaply enough second hand.
I would plan to get all of them but I think there is no harm in making one an additional present as a reward for something. E.g. if you tidy your room every weekend between now and Christmas you can get the Avengers Tower. We will do a room check at 8pm every Sunday and let him 'earn' it in some way. I feel my 6 year old responds very well to working towards a treat and its more special for him at the end.

I would get him two of the four. I mean the books and telescope are educational. But he probably doesn’t need all four especially when he’s got a birthday coming up in 2024.

The Ninebot Go Kart that costs £1800?? I wouldn't be buying that

Surely it's just a list of ideas he would like though and not a list of demands. I think you need to manage his expectations from now until Christmas day, making it clear that all of them is not going to happen.

Also, sorry to be boring, but that Gokart is not something I would feel comfortable letting my 7 year old on.

If you are going to include the telescope in his presents, please don't buy him a crap one. Either get him something decent (or a great pair of binoculars) or don't bother.

I was given a much wanted telescope one Christmas as my main and only gift and it was hopeless. I couldn't say anything and had to pretend I was going to be the next Patrick Moore. I may as well have been been trying to find the Orion nebula through a toilet roll tube.

As regards your DS being brattish at home - tackle that separately from presents. Establish some better routines and rules (boundaries), and never make a 'threat' you don't intend to carry out - and for pity's sake don't use Christmas to emotionally blackmail kids. You should have everyday expectations, as long as they're reasonable. And kids do actually like boundaries to push at, especially so at home with the people they love and depend on. It's part of growing up.

I would not spend 1800k on a present for a 7 year old.

mine make a list and understand Santa chooses from the list. Anything they don’t get they can use Christmas money to buy/pocket money to save up for

If I was using the term "brattish" about such a young child I think I'd consider his expectations very seriously.

You are asking if it is unreasonable not to spend more than £2200+ on your 7 year olds Christmas? (around £1800 for go cart and £400 for lego)

Unless you have access to lots of private land where would he be using that go kart ?

Just pick one main gift. They won't love you any less and may even appreciate what they have a little more.

I mean the amount of money is insane, I doubt at 7 he has any concept of cost. The brattish thing I doubt actually relates to getting stuff, you could have a privileged child who was very grateful so it’s probably more to do with how you teach him to appreciate stuff, be generous to other people etc. However if he is great everywhere else I wouldn’t worry too much, you are his safe place where the bad behaviour can come out and unless it’s particularly concerning it may just be a phase he moves on from.

My husband works in youth offending, one of his cases died this month on one of those gokarts, so I wouldn't on that basis.
The rest, Lego, telescope, books I don't see the issue if you can afford it

£1800 on a go cart for a 7 year old is a huge amount whether you can afford it or not and seriously it'll cause high expectations for the future if he's bratty now
I also think he's too young at 7 for that particular Go kart

Thanks for the comments, I really appreciate you all taking the time out.

@AutumnCrow - In regards to the telescope, we would be buying him a “good” one.

@Floralnomad - We do not have the land for the go-kart we have a garden which isn’t big enough. The only place he would be able to use it is at my parents in laws house, they have some land.

I would scrap the go kart and buy the rest. I think he's a bit young for the go kart and wouldn't get much use out of it especially if you don't have your own land.

I agree with scrapping the go-kart after the previous posters' comments. They are literally lethal from what @SgtJuneAckland says.

Scrap the go kart and get the rest unless you spend masses of time at the in-laws . If you have it at home he will be wanting to use it in public and that is really not suitable at all .

Lego for Christmas
Telescope for his birthday
Books for both occasions

The go kart is an unsuitable gift, far better to put the money in an account rather than it being hardly used and gathering dust. Take him out go karting, he doesn't need an actual go kart.

Ok, I'm a person who spends insane amounts of money on my kid and try to get her everything from her Christmas list, BUT the go kart is so dangerous it's an absolutely horrific present for a child that age - even if you're a millionaire.

100% wouldn't be getting everything and at that cost even if I had infinite money. We do very well for ourselves and our kids get a decent amount but I purposefully do not buy everything they want all the time as they need to learn the value of money and don't want them to grow up expecting everything on a plate.

That go kart is recommended for 14+

Mine would just get the books. I've never go e for big expensive presents. When they wanted a computer it was shared presents for all 3

You want to know how to deal with a child who has asked for a £1800 present?

You laugh at them