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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Struggling with everything

13 replies

Rachie1973 · 11/11/2023 11:01

DH has had a ‘bad back’ since last Xmas. We’ve called the GP so many times, but they just send out painkillers and refer to the physio.

can’t do physio as pain too severe. Physio ‘diagnosed’ osteoarthritis. I really did strop over this explaining to DH that they can’t tell it’s osteoarthritis just by looking at you! You need bloods and a referral to the hospitals appropriate dept. DH is a bit old school. All GPs are Gods. They cannot make mistakes.

over the next 6-7 months he phoned the surgery so many times. They said ‘we wouldn’t really get an X-ray this early’. 8 co-codamol a day, naproxen and still in agony.

Mobility got worse. Had to give up my job to care for him and children. PIP allowed him lowest rate care, no mobility. He can’t walk by now but no evidence to prove it.

Pain increased. Called 111 in early hours twice as he was in agony. They decided ambulance was best option and sent a non urgent (fair enough). Then both times paramedic called us and referred back to GP.

GP prescribed oramorph. He did 100ml in 3 days. They also forgot to tell him to stop the co-codamol. I’m really glad I caught him quickly! At this point I was just furious. Morphine without ever seeing him?!? They also gave him Baclofen to try to ease the spasms.

I called the surgery and demanded a home visit. We argued. He didn’t qualify as he’s not elderly or disabled. Eventually the GP did come out. 2 hours later she left, bloods next day. MRI Friday.

Had MRI. On the Monday GP phoned. ‘Is your wife with you? Hate to do this on the phone’. Gist of it was. MRI shows 5 broken vertebrae indicative of metastatic cancer. Had to go to acute oncology unit for more tests.

There we’re told it’s unlikely it’s a primary cancer, probably a secondary so possibly quite advanced.

we’re now waiting for a PET scan for a more detailed diagnosis and prognosis. My lounge looks like a hospital ward with a profile bed, commode etc.

I’m trying to stop 2 small children jumping on DH or the equipment. Waiting for results which I find potentially terrifying. Worrying about money as I’ve had to stop work. I’m scared to lose him.

Im angry that no one listened to us. So many emotions at present. Not sure why I’m posting except to vent really.

OP posts:
Rachie1973 · 11/11/2023 11:03

And I forgot to uncheck the vote box

OP posts:
Harrysutton · 11/11/2023 11:06

That is awful, hand hold here and I’m sure someone will be along with good advice soon Flowers

Faithtort · 11/11/2023 11:12

I’m so sorry OP. It all sounds so stressful and I’m not surprised you’re struggling. The NHS is failing so many people at the moment it’s utterly heartbreaking. I hope you have some family / friends support. You could contact Macmillan Cancer Support. Big hand hold 💐

Mischance · 11/11/2023 11:13

You are right to be angry - the rule of no treatment before proper diagnosis is breached all the time in the NHS now.

I am sending a hug and a handhold. x

overwhelmed2023 · 11/11/2023 11:15

Oh no how sad. When is he seeing the oncologist? Ca prostate / melanoma / other primary do they know??

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 11/11/2023 11:20

They've treated him appallingly, no one should be on those medications for long without a proper diagnosis. I'm so sorry for what you're all going through.

Caerulea · 11/11/2023 11:20

I'm so sorry for you both, cannot imagine the fear & fury you're feeling right now. And you've every right to feel both in spades! Good luck, I hope the next part is sorted quickly so you know what you're dealing with 🙏

Gcsunnyside23 · 11/11/2023 11:56

I'm so sorry you and your husband are going through this. The level of care received is appalling. What next steps have been given?

Rachie1973 · 11/11/2023 12:37

We’re just waiting. 8 days since MRI, and that awful call.

Now we have to wait for the PET scan. Don’t really want to tell our kids until we have a definitive diagnosis and plan, so feeling quite isolated.

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 11/11/2023 12:49

Oh that’s awful, I’m so sorry.

audihere · 11/11/2023 13:28

I'm just so bloody sorry

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 11/11/2023 13:32

I'm so sorry to read this. I can't imagine how you must feel. The NHS is a mess

commonground · 11/11/2023 13:34

I'm really sorry. I don't usually vote but I wanted to make sure you knew you are 100 percent NOT being U and your anger and venting is totally justified. I hope you get news of the plan soon so that you can better see a way forward.

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