Elf on the Shelf

[Fireal]

We’ve never done it. Honestly, I hate the entire thing and I’ve always sworn I would never do it for my children (we do other things and Christmas is a big deal in our house). I won’t go into reasons why I hate it as I understand I’m a minority, but I do feel quite strongly.

My MIL has just bought my two (10 & 7) an elf each (bought with good intentions - we have a good relationship and they’re great grandparents) and I am furious. My 7 year old keeps talking about how it’s going to do naughty things and he can’t wait. I’m now trapped into doing it in December aren’t I? Honestly the thought of staging this every day makes my blood boil and I hate that we’re being forced to do it.

AIBU to refuse? I don’t want to ruin the magic for my younger boy, but honestly it’s the most irritating thing they’ve ever done 😂

If you search on MN there ar loads of threads, and within tell you ways to cheat

Never did elf on the shelf and I wouldn't have been dragged into it...I would honestly tell your DS that the elf won't be doing anything naughty because obviously it's not real, it's a toy

Hey your hubby can do it half the time! Plus a friends elf had a list of chores her kids had to do - fun ones like 'bake cookies for local care home'.

It's an American abomination.

This exact thing happened to me. MIL meant well. I told my children elf would t do anything naught because they are both so well behaved. Safe to say my DD started doing naught things hoping the elks would copy! Complete fail 😂

That is the gift that keeps on taking! You could just move them around each night so they have to find them? Maybe some low key ASB like taking the cushions off the sofa or taking the washing out the laundry basket. We have done it for years and it's a right pain! But it's embedded in their Christmas and we had some fun.

Sorry Typos

Glad to see you all feel my pain!! Honestly I think it absolutely is an abomination and mainly used by mums on Facebook to show off. I neither have the time nor the patience for it. I’m torn between making my husband do it (he has offered) or saying the elf has been arrested for dealing drugs and will spend Advent in prison

My MIL gave us two. DH just puts them on the tree and when the DCs asked because their friend's elves did things I just said ours don't do that.

I'd bin them if I could but MIL is now dead and so all gifts are sanctified.

I've never used Santa as a behaviour management tool though, I'm watching and I'm way more important than Santa, plus I bring the good gifts, Santa just brings the stocking tat.

Glad this wasn't a thing when mine were younger. Can't you just say they are replica ones and wont be doing anything. Use them as decorations or get them to come up with and act out the ideas themselves

I'd be just using them as a decorations, especially as your eldest is 10 and probably knows already that it's nonsense.

MIL bought it, MIL and DH can do it. Don’t manage it. Don’t explain it. Just shrug.

Don’t accept wifework!!!

We had a similar situation. Mil presented to us that she got one for or dd and it would be so much fun!
We told mil that she could keep it at hers and send us pictures every now and then.
Guess what?
She couldn't be bothered
Problem solved.

My 7 year old keeps talking about how it’s going to do naughty things and he can’t wait. I’m now trapped into doing it in December aren’t I?

Just stick them on a shelf and claim they’re the best behaved elves ever! Or if you’re a good storyteller, you could make up some antics that you saw but your kids were just a bit too late to witness.You could even rope MIL in to that one!

We don’t do the elf thing either and I find the idea of it quite creepy 🤣 we have lots of friends that do do it though, and I enjoy seeing them come up with very imaginative things for the elves to do! Luckily our children have never asked about it as I don’t want to start something I’ll have to carry on doing year after year.

Could yours be a good elf? So it just plays hide and seek and brings small gifts? Things you’d buy anyway like an advent calendar, Christmas craft supplies, or tickets to an event. Maybe it could even suggest good deeds like shopping for the food bank?

I think you need to tell dc that the elves will reside at your ils. They can send daily photos of their antics.

I absolutely hate it. Luckily it wasn't a thing in the UK when my older children were little, so we don't do it. If my MIL had bought one, I would have made her do it at her house.

Two years ago I could have written your post.

We got given the Elf and my kids loved the idea. I didn't and I never really wanted to do it.

But once I started I actually didn't hate it as much as I thought and it's become quite a nice tradition.

My rules are:

1. Our elf is not naughty. He just plays hide and seek - each night he hides somewhere for the kids to find him. Sometimes he's doing something funny in his hiding place (like hiding inside a toilet roll that he been made to look like a snowman, hanging off a light fitting, getting locked out in the garden). Sometimes, when I don't have as much time on an evening, he's just hiding (under a cushion or something).

1. The elf is a toy. Mum and Dad hide him.

Real elves - the one's that work for Santa - can't be seen, they're too good at hiding. The kids can touch/play with the elf if they want to. They can do a hide and seek for me and DH with the elf some nights. Occasionally, on special days they don't hide but instead bring surprise gifts (jumpers on Xmas jumper day, tickets to the panto etc)

Like a lot of things at Christmas we tell them other families have other traditions and do things in different ways to us - e.g. some kids they can't touch their elf etc.

Like you OP, we are not scrooges - we go big on lots of other things at Christmas and have lots of other 'magic'.

Ours brings a book a day, does nowt else but occasionally dangles on a lightswitch.
Head to the works, buy a stack of books.. elf brings said book when they get home from school/ nursery and they may on occasion have a little sweet too.

Done, I don't have time for elaborate faffing!

Supporting data? I have lived in the States for decades and had never heard of Elf on the Shelf before.

Mind you, I've just worked out that the Brits have borrowed Black Friday without understanding that it needs to be directly preceded by Thanksgiving!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Elf_on_the_Shelf

"a marketing juggernaut dressed up as a tradition",

I stand corrected and educated!

I wouldn’t do it. Just give her them back and tell your kids it was an inappropriate gift.

I hate the stupid Elf doll's stupid little face.

I'd veer towards just using it as a decoration rather than getting dragged into the whole elfscapade of setting up some new tableau each night.