To Expect DD14 To At Least Ask Before Painting Her Room?

[RabbitsRock]

Just came downstairs & announced that they ( her & her girlfriend) had already started. Apparently the gf bought the paint a couple of days ago. When I tried to talk to DD, I got yelled at & verbally abused.
Admittedly it is her room & I avoid it as much as possible, partly because you can’t move for clutter. Do you guys think she could at least have mentioned it before they started? I was worried about the laminate flooring but apparently they have put something down.

Your bigger problem is the yelling and verbal abuse

your house, not hers!!!!!

Well since she is grounded her gf won't be over to help so let her get on with it... Being abused is def worth a grounding..

Absolutely, out of order (so is the yelling)

She is allowed her personal space. However, a house is a bloody expensive thing and redecorating is not something you do on a whim! You can respect her space but she has to respect your property that you pay for. They could make a mess or even cause damage which affects you and your money longterm. I would not put up with abuse over protecting my property, I’d certainly compromise and do the redecorating properly - once her room was in an acceptable state to do so which is on here. Honestly if she spoke to me like that and refused to find a middle ground, her girlfriend would be banned from visiting until they both found some more respect for one thing.

You've got bigger problems than the paint.

Apparently it’s a chest of drawers being painted - why she couldn’t just say so in the first place I have no idea! And yes, the verbal abuse is an ongoing problem. We are getting a lot of support around DD’s behaviour generally & with her relationship which isn’t the healthiest.