I had an abortion at 16 too, though I didn't want to really. My DS was born with some SEN (not obvious at birth but later on), and I felt like you. I was raised a Catholic. I'm English but ancestors were Irish.
It's not a punishment, its just luck. The only person punishing yourself is you. Be gentle on yourself. Sometimes we have to make the least worst decision, its not ideal, but that's the world we live in.
I don't believe a loving god would let us get pregnant then punish us for making a probably sensible but difficult decision. If there is god, I can only think they are loving and forgiving of us imperfect humans. Not some vengeful overlord who would punish women with miscarriages. Sadly, this is a line that has been peddled by the church and can be hard to move away from if its been imbibed through family/culture/religious upbringing.
My gran was very much a believer but knew of women who'd been made to give up children for adoption (1940s), she was full of kindness and sympathy and thought that it was a cruel thing to do to a woman. Obviously this was before legal abortion in England.
Anyway, I'm rambling, but no my love, the two things are not linked in any way.
Its just nature, sad though it is. Often miscarriages are a mystery, sometimes it may be the baby wasn't developing right and so it happens rather than the body progressing with the pregnancy.
If you got counselling do you think DH might reconsider in time? What's his reason for no longer wanting to TTC?
Hugs to you. I just have one child too, would have liked more but that's not how life played out.
So many women have miscarriages, including repeat ones, but its just not talked about very much. So don't feel you're alone as you are not. Xx