House sharing at 40

[Mooshamoo]

I'm 39. I was living alone there for a while.

The way things have gone in the last year, I think Im going to have to move in with strangers next year.

So I'll be house sharing with strangers at 40. It's not the norm and I'm a bit embarrassed but I have to do it.

Has anyone else done it on here?

I wouldn't be embarrassed about it. It sounds very sensible tbh. The cost of living crisis makes it unsustainable for many people to live alone these days. There's no shame in trying to find a financially sustainable solution.

People are very negative about flat-sharing scenarios but if you share with the right people it can be really nice.

i don’t think it’s embarrassing. It’s a tight time for people financially plus post pandemic things have changed - do you wfh? A housemate or two could work out well for companionship, better property than you might get alone. I’m 43 btw. I’ve never lived alone and don’t think I could.

I’ve been in a 4-5 person house share that included people in their 40s and 50s and I’ve shared with one other woman while we were one each side of the 40 mark. Sharing with one other person is much nicer when you’re older I think, but there are ‘grown up’ ways of doing both. In a bigger houseshare could you afford to have an en suite? If you have time can you first find the person (or two) who you’d like to live with then look together for a place?

Don’t be embarrassed. I’ve given up judging myself against others now, or what my parents generation had or didn’t have. There might be some negatives but also positives too.

I used to work in housing OP, so many people are coming in to this bracket now. Even if you work full time, earning 30k, you’d struggle to get something that didn’t eat your entire wage leaving you very little left to enjoy life with, let alone save.
The way some houses are let mean the landlords are better off letting a 5 bed house to 5 unrelated individuals, rather than a family for example.
It’s very hard, please don’t feel you’re alone.

If your name isn’t on the housing list please register, it may take years but at least you’re on the list.

I had to rent out a room in my precious little post-divorce empty-nester house.
When I bought it two years ago I could afford it alone.
It won't be forever (I tell myself).

Watch five bedrooms on iPlayer. It made me want to house share!

Could you get a second job? (assuming you have a first one!) I would rather do almost anything to make more money than house share in my 40s.

Theres no shame in house sharing at any age if you are struggling to live alone. I think that housing is incredibly under occupied.

Tbf your parents generation lived with parents until they got married. It’s a relatively new phenomenon to live alone in your early 20’s. And an expensive one! More people should share a house. Think of the money they’d save.

How long have you been living alone op?

I currently live in a HMO I have shared with a 40 year old and it was hell in my opinion. But only because they used to complain if we made noise on the evenings or weekends, because because they wanted to sleep expected not to go out at all.

So do think if your lifestyle matches with the people you'll be sharing with.

I haven't done it but a friend's brother rents out rooms on an "over 40 house shares" site. That is definitely where I would be looking - I couldn't share with energetic young whippersnappers.

Yeah I would want to share with people near my own age ideally.

Loved that programme. I wouldn't have minded house sharing with Ben.😃

Fgs don't feel embarrassed. You're making a rational decision due to a tricky situation.

I have a couple of friends who live in shared accommodation who are older. One is in his sixties and has been in houseshares for twenty years. He's never made a lot of money and he lives in London so house sharing is preferable to him rather than awful bedsits or being a lodger (which he has also done - too restrictive).

The absolute crucial thing is who you share with - it needs to be people who are a similar age I think - there's a lot of drama in younger houseshares and not always a great deal of cleaning. Agree that your own bathroom or at least a house with more than one bathroom is preferable. Some shares are really well organised which makes for less tension overall.

I wouldn't say it's that uncommon now tbh, house prices being what they are. My H was living at home when i met him, it genuinely didn't cross my mind to judge him for it. Renting can be a bit bleurgh, but it can be magnificent! A couple of my best friends were my fellow rentees. I moved in with them randomly, approx 22 years ago. They flew in from a different country for my wedding, surprised me as i was walking in (it was all organised with my mum and brother). Bit of waffle there, apologies, but renting can be great! And H had been renting in his late thirties too.

I have had to rent out a room as my morthage went up by £400 so its now £1100 so i cant pay that plus all my bills on my own. Im 41. In september a really nice lady moved in. I earn above average but costs have gone up so my circumstances have changed. My son who is 14 still lives at home as well. So far its all been fine. I think less and less people will be able to afford to live alone now.

It's becoming very normal. People can't afford to live alone.

Fair play to you, that's crazy money!

When I was mid twenties, I thought how awful it would be to live in a houseshare with strangers, but then I started looking at the bedsits I could afford on my own and a houseshare suddenly seemed like an amazing option in comparison! I needn't have worried - I had a great time!

I lived with a 40+yo when I was 28 or 29, living in London. A friend in his 30s lived with 3 others, 2 of whom were in their 40s and the other not far off. I think it is super common in London and I assume in other expensive areas. If you don't want to live in a flat share, what are your other options? Can you move further out of town/city? Can you live with family? Will you look at bedsits?

They've gotten rid of bedsits in Ireland!

Nothing to be embarrassed about.

Do what's best for your situation, always.

I'm currently in a 6 person HMO. I'm early 40s.

Pay a bit extra for ensuite. Its a must.

Do not worry about who your sharing with as during the 3 years I've been here most people move on within 6 months.

The main reasons people move on other than a change of circumstances with something like there job is a lack of heating , very little storage in the shared fridge and the kitchen not being dirty but also not being the way they like to live. By this I mean people leave the cooker not clean, or the drainage board full of there shiny clean plates all day so no one else can use the sink.

The biggest complaint is always the tumble dryer not being cleaned after use.

Even if you think you have found a perfect house with great occupants things change very quickly. Someone will move in who constantly shouts down there phone, leaves the kitchen dirty, smells of cigarettes/cannabis or likes noisy sex.

If I was alone Id consider house sharing just because I don't like living alone. Another person even in another room would be reassuring somehow.