AIBU to wish HCPs hadn't made comments about my breasts?

[Egelbert]

I probably am BU in the scheme of things, but it does make me sad.

I am recently diagnosed with b/c, had it removed, drain in, only small so getting chemo as a belt and braces thing but all very horrible. I've had two rounds, feels like I've been hit with a sledgehammer each time, plus navigating this new landscape is quite the psychological challenge.

I keep thinking back to the last two mammograms I had. The second to last, the woman doing it commented that my breasts were "dense". The most recent one, the woman said said "gosh, you are very symmetrical aren't you ".

Sadly my dense symmetrical breasts haven't helped me one bit in terms of avoiding life threatening conditions and in fact have made me a target for much unwanted attention over the years before ultimately one of them betrayed me. AIBU to feel sad that even at the point I found out about this betrayal I was hearing such a comment, and from a woman as well?

There's been so much to deal with since I got my diagnosis and I know it's stupid to think about this but every now and again it makes me really unhappy. But then lots of things make me unhappy rn. AIBU?

Sorry to hear about your breast cancer, hope you start feeling better again.

In the kindest way I think you are being unreasonable. Both dense and symmetrical are descriptive terms used by HCPs when looking at breasts. I'm sorry its making you feel upset though, being a patient can make you feel very vulnerable. I don't think they said anything wrong though.

I'm sorry that you are going through this.

I don't think there is anything wrong with commenting that your breasts are dense, I have been told similar and I believe it's a medical description as mine are very heavy and fibrous.

I think the symmetrical thing is rather odd however.

YABU but you are being completely understandable. When you’re in a difficult situation that makes you vulnerable so many unexpected things can hurt. My heart goes out to you, wishing you strength. It’s so human to be hurt by things like that.

Dense literally refers to how easy it is to see abnormalities in your breasts - it isn’t a comment on the perkiness. She’s just providing a running commentary on what she’s doing.

Symmetrical would depend on the context, but if it was mid-mammogram I suspect that was also a professional, scan-related comment and not a comment on how attractive your boobs are.

The symmetrical comment seems odd but the context probably matters. Breast density is a medical term- there are four categories of density and having dense breasts put someone at greater risk of cancer and makes it harder to spot via mammogram. It's actually quite important to be aware of your breast density and it isn't talked about enough. I'm sorry you're going through this, OP.

Thank you all for your kindness and understanding. Oh gosh this has actually helped me, to know that these were medical comments. I do feel silly.

By way of mitigation I've just had so many breast related comments over the years.

Don’t feel silly! It’s strange that it wasn’t explained to you as medical practice IME normally involves the lowest common denominator of medical expertise, eg food pipe for oesophagus, precisely to avoid people getting confused, offended or upset. All best wishes for your recovery OP.

OP it is normal to be extra sensitive to commentary when you are feeling, and are, vulnerable.

For what it's worth I had almost the same precise comment at a mammogram for suspected B/f a couple of years ago. I had several bad infections and the comment was about how to get a good picture of the tissue.

Don't worry about either the comment or your reaction. Both normal!

Good grief, you're not silly. You are going through such a lot right now.

You're not silly. Your reaction makes sense in the context of your life and even if it didn't it's not uncommon to focus on something else when their is something so big and scary happening in your life. It's all normal and ok.

I've had breast cancer - mastectomy, chemo, radiation etc.

I think you are being unreasonable.

'Dense' breast tissue is a medical term, and it is actually more difficult to diagnose cancer in dense breast tissue.

The comment about your breasts being symmetrical is also relevant to diagnosis, as asymmetry can also be a sign of breast cancer.

It seems like you're down in the weeds mentally, which is quite normal in my experience, and you may need some assistance getting yourself out of the weeds - I would definitely recommend counselling, it really does help.

Symmetry is also something that would make sense to note if you are having exams over a period of time... if you know as a baseline you are pretty symmetrical, then anything different next time could be a sign something is not right.
But don't stress. I once had to gave a chest x-ray and point blank refused to remove my bra in front of the rather bossy male tech. I was so stressed and so adamant that I totally missed the part where he told me I could keep my shirt on 😆

YABU, dense is a medical term, and symmetrical is quite rare so you should be pleased!

Best of luck with your treatment, OP.

OP, just for your info, there is a thread in Health - General Health - titled 'Cancer support thread 91 - don’t borrow tomorrow’s worries' which may be helpful to you.💐

Going against the grain here, not unreasonable.

You're going through a tough time regarding your breasts and extra comments are completely unnecessary> This does however depend on the context, was it said to you randomly, a random comment, or was it said in relation to something in particular such as dense when the HCP was looking at a scan? If is was in context with something then it may be you being sensitive, if random then it is unnecessary however as it is medical wording I wouldn't take it too badly.