Friend constantly inviting me over?

[ticketstoironmaiden]

My friend has just got her first house so it’s probably the excitement of that but she invites me over all the time.

I’m a very social and anti-social person and sometimes I just want to be on my own. I don’t want to make the hour round trip.

We’re doing the same self study (we met at work) and all this week she’s been on about me revising at hers and I just think what’s the point? To go over, waste study time driving to then sit in silence? I could do that at home.

I agree
Totally pointless
Tell her to come over to yours - she soon get fed up.

This is a non issue. If you don't want to go, don't go. "sorry, I think I'll get more done at home".

Well you shouldn’t just be sitting in silence, the point of joint study is you do a set amount of time together then reward yourself with a cup of tea and a chat, then another hour or whatever of work, then another tea break, etc. For some people that’s more enjoyable and productive than working in silence alone. If you’re not one of them then fine, but honestly there are worse problems in the world than having a friend who wants to spend time with you and host you.

Which is fine once, but she’s asked me three times this week.

I was at hers three times last week.

There are many worse problems in the world than what is posted on Mumsnet. Still doesn’t mean we can’t post or that others can try and dictate what people can post.

God no. Say something like "I just want to be home, in my PJs and warm when its cold and dark out" It's totally fair and none offensive.

just say you find it easier to revise at home, but you've enjoyed coming to hers socially so can you come next wednesday?

It’s fine every time. She has no claim on your time.

Tell her you’re tired after a long day or petrol is expensive or it’s cold and you want to get home asap, if you don’t want to just say no.

Absolutely, these posts seem to be on the increase!
'Ohh I keep getting asked to socialise and do fun stuff with people, I just want to be alone, but am clearly so wonderful people won't leave me alone'!!

Walk into her kitchen and help yourself to food and drinks, leave her toilet a mess and start looking through her drawers.
You won't be asked again.

Is your friend lonely in her new home? Just a thought.

Of course it is not unreasonable for you not to want to go there all the time.

I’ve read of some really devastating personal situations on mumsnet. Infertility, loneliness, discovering you have been cheated on in a decades long relationship. Of course you can post what you want, but I think it’s reasonable to point out that this isn’t one of them.

I have a friend who asks to see me about three times a week. We're not overly close friends or anything and that's way more than I see anyone else. I pretty much always say no and usually I don't need to make up any excuses because I'm busy or there's another reason I can't go. But it's made me start withdrawing from the friendship as we clearly have quite different views on our friendship.

‘No thanks!’

Ta dah.

What a bitch!
lol

She enjoys spending time with you and she’s now got her own space and so can have you round more often.

Just say you can’t be bothered and want to stay home.
Make plans to go on the weekend instead or something.

What's your question?

She's invited you, you don't want to go, you decline politely.

You made a rod for your own back going there three times last week.

Just guessing - maybe because the OP hasn’t asked her?

When she next asks just say when you CAN next go over, even if it’s a few weeks away. It’s not an issue

I definitely don’t think I’m so wonderful and people want to spend time with me constantly. One person constantly asking me over doesn’t equate to immense popularity

Like I said I’m social and love being with friends but I’m also really antisocial and want to be in my house alone. I’m just trying to balance saying no without being blunt.

Your response/reaction was very aggressive though. Do you not have many friends?

100% with you OP. It feels like encroaching on your privacy after a while.

Just say you're busy atm and are enjoying any 'you time' you get to relax.

Why don't you say 'it's my turn to host if you fancy coming over, but I'm not up for the drive at the moment'