What have I done to deserve being snubbed in this way?

[wasdarknowblond]

So, I met a lovely friend A a few years back and she and her husband became very good friends with us, i.e. shared meals, trips out holidays etc. At some point I introduced her to another 'friend' B. For a while we all got on well as 'girls' and couples and went out together quite a bit. However at some point A and B started doing things without inviting me. These were largely instigated by B. We all remained friends but I increasingly felt like the odd one out when we were together - i.e A and B chatting about things they'd done together. We had always exchanged birthday and Christmas presents and cards but around two years ago, A didn't give me a birthday present or card although I gave her one when her birthday came round. At the time I thought it was just due to the lockdown and although I was a little hurt, gave her the benefit of the doubt. Even so, when B's birthday came round and we all went out for a drink to celebrate, A gave B a really nice very belated present in front of me which I found quite hurtful. My birthday came round once more and again no card or present from A just a text message, although I gave her a nice present and card. I am now feeling really pissed off with A and wonder what I have done to deserve this treatment. I feel now I don't really want anything more to do with either of them and plan to give them both a wide berth in future. I just don't want to be treated like shit by them anymore. AIBU?

There is only one solution. Ask!

You have been wendied and it absolutely sucks.
Send nothing but hugs because been there and took me ages to get over it.

Invest yourself in other friendships and take a step back. Very hurtful, I understand x

3 is a bad number.

Agreed with PP - you’ve been wendied. Sorry OP

This happened to me. It is very hurtful but in the long run I am glad it happened. You are worth more then crappy friends OP. Meet new friends who make you feel fabulous.

Don't waste any more time in them. Drop them and block.

I can see why you're feeling hurt, but I think there is a natural ebb and flow to friendships and sometimes the way people feel about each other just changes over time. Obviously for the one who is still invested in the friendship, it sucks to be feeling left out, but ultimately you can't force these things and sometimes, the fact that you've known each other for a long time isn't enough of a reason in itself to stay close friends. Friendships don't have to go on forever and sometimes, they will fizzle out on one side. It is hard and it can be bewildering - even more so when it feels like you've been displaced by someone you introduced your friend to in the first place. I do sympathise. But I think you need to accept that things have just changed.

I know people on Mumsnet always say 'Ask her what you've done' or 'Ask her why you're not close any more' but think that's almost never a good idea, because in most cases, the truthful answer will be 'Nothing. You've done nothing wrong. I just feel like I don't enjoy your company like I used to' or 'I just started to find you a bit boring' or 'We used to have loads in common but we lead really different lives now' or even 'I've seen way too much of you over the years and honestly, I've just had enough and you've started to really grate on me.' I don't think there's any nice, helpful or conflict-free way of having that conversation and the person being ghosted is always going to come off worst.

It's horrible to feel left out and I sympathise a lot, but I think it's one of life's normal hurdles that we have to overcome. I doubt you've done anything wrong.

I sympathise but I don’t think they’ve actually done anything wrong. And I don’t sympathise with expectations of birthday cards or gifts - these should always be a lovely treat, not an expectation (regardless of whether you bought her one).