...to ask what your 4yo would enjoy at a birthday party?

[BabyQuark]

It's DD's first "proper" birthday party in December. I think there'll be about 15 children, boys and girls, mostly aged 4, a couple 3yos and some 5yo. We've hired a church hall for 2 hours (plus set up and cleanup), but they're not insured for bouncy castles or soft play, which 90% of the parties we've been to have had.

Is it really naff and lazy if I just set out loads of toys and hope the kids entertain themselves? We have a big dolls house, lots of those brio train track bits, wooden blocks, and a box of play silks, but I'm conscious that's probably not enough to keep them entertained or to look like much when they walk in. (We'll have balloons and decorations too, obviously.) I can borrow toys from the church toddler group but most of them are very much aimed at younger children.
Are they too old for a ball pit? Is a craft table a recipe for disaster? A pinata?
The party will also include lunch, but how much time does that realistically kill?
Do people do party games these days? I'm hopeless at corralling my own children to get them to do anything so I hate the thought of trying to get 15 kids to sit in a circle and play pass the parcel - but I'd give it a go if the kids would enjoy it.

If you have children that sort of age, what would they like / expect from a birthday party?

some more: bouncy castles are also a recipe for falls and disasters. lots of pushing and crying and very difficult for adults to climb in there to moderate the behaviour 😉
For face paining: It can work well but I would apply a limited number of options to ensure that the queue moves along (i.e. 3 or 5 simple options). I've done face painting myself for these ages, they are just happy with some whiskers/spiderweb/fairy tale-princess make up.

The last party we went to without a bouncy castle had an entertainer and I found that party much better than the ones with bouncy castles (they seem to get bored quickly) if you get an entertainer they will just run the show for 2 hours, they're really engaging

I don't think you'll need a face painter as children won't want to stop playing/having fun to have their face painted.

I did a series of themed parties for dd when she was little - under the sea, pony, jungle, etc etc. Fancy dress is fun if it's not too short notice, themed games (a fishing game was a hit, as was a show jumping course with rosettes etc, painting horse shoes, find the jungle animal (soft toy) etc). Kids parties are really easy it just takes a bit of planning and a bit of imagination.

@whatamidealingwith are you available to come run my party??? 😂🙏

We had a Punch and Judy man when my kids were that age

Don't cancel the hall. You will lose the money. It's easy to run your own party!

Pass the parcel, musical chairs, musical statutes, dancing competition, races. Food and cake.

That takes up the time and they will have fun, I promise!

Pass the parcel
Giant bubbles
Musical statutes
Pinata
Flip the kipper (they decorate big bits of paper shaped like fish then flap them along with a newspaper)

All the people saying they can't entertain 20 4 yo for 2 hours need to up their game 😂 just drink a load of coffee first

@Newusernameforthiss I have been to a party where the parents were the entertainers and most kids were bored and not engaged. You definitely have to have the right personality for this.

OP save your money on the facepainter, you will have queues and it’s not that entertaining. Book a clown/magician/princess/entertainer and cut back on an expensive cake. 4 years olds are happy with a Tesco cake and you can relax without having to run around playing party games. Book someone now, they do get booked up!

@SoSad44 It wouldn't have occurred to me to get an expensive cake! I'd have probably made one, or bought a Tesco one in any case 😳 Is there also an expectation for a fancy cake now? Bloody hell, it's starting to feel like planning a wedding! How do parents of multiple children afford this??

Keep the length of the party short. 2 hours is plenty. Go for old fashioned party games. At 4 they will still enjoy it.
Musical statues, pin the tail on the donkey (do three so kids are in groups of 5), ring a ring a rosy, big round table cloth to play parachute maybe, keep the balloon in the air, pass the parcel in 2 different circles (so more interactive), balloon races (over your head, under your legs). Could do decorating party masks (paper plates, cut eye holes out in advance) with felt tips, stickers, maybe some feathers or pipe cleaners as whiskers - but nothing that requires time to dry.
How many teen/adult helpers can you rope in? Yes to face painting if you know anyone willing to do it.
Finish with the party food followed by toy stations (brio etc), some books, some colouring. - basically calm stuff to keep them busy if they’ve had enough food but their parents aren’t there yet.
Each activity is only going to last about 10-15 minutes.

Don’t buy an expensive cake unless you really want to and can afford to.
Making one or buying one from tescos is fine. Half the kids will nibble the corner and decide they don’t like it whatever you do.
Honestly I’d go super retro on the food. Fairy cakes, jelly in cupcake wrappers or paper cups, maybe sausage rolls cut up, fruit or vegetables sticks that kids like (carrot, cucumber and apple are well liked), potato based quiche type thing cut in small squares. Triangles of bread and butter with cake sprinkles on. Consider making all the food vegetarian if you know they’ll be multiple dietary rules to consider that can all be covered by vegetarian food (any kids who eat halal or kosher, any families who don’t eat beef, any vegetarian families).

See if you can find a playlist of party games - either just suitable music or actual instructions and ideas for the games recorded on a sound file. When I was 4 we had those as tape cassettes…

My kids hate party games. Most kids claim to love them but then just sit their with a dead expression on their faces passing the blooming parcel. Spare yourself.

Toys and an area to run around in sound great. Balloons are great for hours but ring LOTS because the game will inevitably turn to breaking them. Maybe a Dad with a balloon pump, those thin long balloons, and a booklet telling him how to make balloon dogs?

Definitely get an entertainer if you don't have a bouncy castle. There are lots of companies/people who do parties, they'll do music, dancing, games etc.

@GwenGhost Yes! This is the sort of party I remember from my childhood. I always thought they were great fun! I've just costed up if we were to hire a different hall and get a bouncy castle, plus inexpensive food and drinks would cost about £350, even without factoring in losing the deposit on our current hall. If we paid for them all to go to soft play or trampolining it would be similar.
When did it become the norm for kids' parties to cost hundreds of pounds?? (And I realise it is the norm and the pressure on my kids / on me to fit in and do the same will only get worse as they get older.)

Having spent a lot of time this last year at 4/5 year olds parties they will defo not be engaged and get bored/fidgety and then unruly. I would hide a different half and have a bouncy castle.

We went to a village hall one recently, the entertainer was good but two hours on focussing on one person was even seeing them a bit wild. Pass the parcel for that many kids is difficult too as they get bored once they've had there turn.

Currently doing 4th birthday party rounds at the moment:

• balloon animal makers seem a real hit with the kids. Cannot fathom why but they love that shit
• check out local toddler/kids classes. They often do a party package too. Esp if your kid has a class they like
• if bouncy castles are out, there are places that hire ride on toys, or toys and dress up around a theme
• keep it short and moving. 2 hours max. 90 minutes fine. An hour of activity, food and cake, 10 minutes at the end
• keep food basic. Half a sandwich, mini cheese, crisp type thing, fruit, veg sticks that you put out so you don't look like a negligent parent but that no kids touch. Juice box. They barely eat anyway.

My nearly 4 yo desperately wants a repeat of last year's "dark party" - I bought a bunch of very cheap torches and they went outside with them in the dark (they had to hunt for some coloured balls in the garden). I had a table with some masks they could decorate of "dark" animals (bat, wolf etc, I downloaded the templates from the internet and cut them out of thin card), and they had hot dogs and chips for dinner. They all had fun and it was really minimal cost.

Sorry to say around here 90% of parties have an expensive, special made cake. Totally OTT.
we have two kids, we don’t do big parties every year. And definitely not everyone does them.
our oldest couldn’t have parties for 2 years because of lockdowns and covid so she had a big one after that. Now she has a party at a local attraction which is £200 for 10 friends, food included (not cake). i don’t spend much on party bags, £2 per person on a sweet cone. DC2 is still too young for parties.

I am just not willing to spend £300- £400 per child a year on parties.

If they're not insured for bouncy castles I would see if you can get a disco instead. And the dj will probably have a routine for children's parties including musical statues etc..

I've been to a party that had an animal man showing snakes and spiders and letting the children hold them which was also quite original.

If you are going it alone with just an empty hall, I would make a pass the parcel, buy a piniata, get a playlist ready for musical chairs/statues, set up the facepainting... but that will be hard work to organise the children from one activity to the next on the day. Buying a load of space hoppers might also be a good idea.

Also, nothing wrong with a Colin the caterpillar cake.

I disagree with a lot of these posts. I don’t think 4 year olds need an entertainer, most are really happy just playing with different toys. Throw in balloons to run around and throw in the air and they’ll be even happier. Agree have someone blowing up lots of spares. A bubble machine would definitely entertain them too as a bonus but not necessary. After 45 minutes stop for food, then 30 minutes more play and time to go home. If space take some ride on toys and see if you can get friends to bring a few toys along as well. Any nursery age and reception age kids will be well used to pottering around and entertaining themselves- definitely don’t need a new venue or to shell out loads on an entertainer. And agree you don’t need a fancy cake. Kids mostly just care about there being sweets in the party bag!

I don't think you necessarily need a full on entertainer if it's going to be a stretch, however you will need to rustle up some adult (ish) help so beg borrow steal favours from people and/or chuck a local teenager £20 to help out?

You'll want to run some games, old fashioned party classics are fine for that age, and then get some activity kind of songs, there are loads on YouTube or Spotify (just make sure to download the files in case of no/poor internet connection). Having a playlist is helpful as it lets you see how long each activity will take up.

Handy dad or teenager to run around chasing people with balloons when they get fed up of games, and a craft table and party tea.