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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to wonder what happened to my life

9 replies

SparklyRainbows · 09/11/2023 01:58

2019 worst year of my life. DH and I separate but stay living in same house. I raise a concern about how my manager treats me. They and their manager raise concerns about the amount of work I do compared to my full time peers, I’m 80% FTE. Eventually I go off sick with stress from the bullying.

2020 arrives think at least it has to be better then covid happens. Initially DH is a key worker so I do childcare, shopping etc all fine as DH is doing something important. He stops being a key worker. I home school kids and then work US hours. DH cooks dinner I do everything else. It’s a long year. I eat chocolate to get through and end up overweight.

2021 end up with a neurological problem due to weight gain. Can’t take meds for it as they cause low mood only option is weight loss. Food is the only good thing in my life.

2022 Dad dies. Mammoth job clearing house and dealing with estate with sibling. Causes lots of tension between us.

2023 I have another medical condition this means I can’t drive anymore. This is a nightmare loads of time spent arranging lifts. DH and I finally divorcing. Kids mental health suffering they are both really difficult to deal with. Grandparent dies alone as I couldn’t get there due to train strikes. Feel so much guilt. Impossible situation at work. Was shut out by other members of the project team who went ahead and did work without me. I couldn’t keep others in the loop like I should. Now transpires there are major issues with the work done. Apparently it’s my fault for not doing certain things I didn’t do as I’d been shut out. Now can’t get one of the team to realise there is a major floor in the work. Getting really unnecessarily harsh emails from manager and colleague. Manager humiliated me in team meeting and shouted at me in 1:1. I’ll get no bonus or pay raise despite doing amazingly in other parts of my job.

AIBU to wonder where it all went wrong? My life has turned to utter crap. I have nothing to look forward to. Soon I’ll have no job. No idea where I will be living. It’s been so crap for so long I’m exhausted and don’t know how to carry on. Life keeps taunting me with getting better then takes it away.

well done for making it to the end of my post. Sorry it’s so long. Oh and today is my birthday not that that means anything anymore.

OP posts:
Burgerexplosion · 09/11/2023 02:07

Happy Birthday OP. I’m sorry you have had such a run of bad luck and hope that this is the start of a turn around for the better.

Are you able to go out and do something to treat yourself today, even if it is just a relaxing coffee and cake?

Ponoka7 · 09/11/2023 02:09

Happy birthday!🎂. Work out if you are depressed and need help with that. Our life fell apart when my DH became seriously ill and I had to be his carer and he died. We lost our house and I have two children with ADs and one who was severely affected by her dad's death. If depression isn't present, then it's be kind to yourself, count your blessings and start to put together a life plan. Short term and long term. If 2019 was the worst year of your life, then you still got through it.

SparklyRainbows · 09/11/2023 02:21

No I have to work then look after the kids.

OP posts:
SparklyRainbows · 09/11/2023 02:23

I’m so sorry. That sounds much worse than what I’m going through.

Yes, I am depressed. I’m on antidepressants and mood stabilisers and under the care of a psychiatrist.

OP posts:
Burgerexplosion · 09/11/2023 02:32

SparklyRainbows · 09/11/2023 02:23

I’m so sorry. That sounds much worse than what I’m going through.

Yes, I am depressed. I’m on antidepressants and mood stabilisers and under the care of a psychiatrist.

Is your psychiatrist suggesting any changes to your treatment plan to improve your mood?

LaurieStrode · 09/11/2023 02:50

FlowersFlowersFlowersFlowers

SparklyRainbows · 09/11/2023 03:12

No. Psychiatrist hasn’t suggested any changes.

OP posts:
HungryandIknowit · 09/11/2023 03:34

Are you still in the same job? If so that might be am area to look at (although note that you say you will soon be leaving - this may be a good thing). I hope you have had therapy as well as seeing a psychiatrist. That is a lot for anyone to deal with. I wish you all the best.

SparklyRainbows · 09/11/2023 03:45

HungryandIknowit · 09/11/2023 03:34

Are you still in the same job? If so that might be am area to look at (although note that you say you will soon be leaving - this may be a good thing). I hope you have had therapy as well as seeing a psychiatrist. That is a lot for anyone to deal with. I wish you all the best.

I’m still in the same job. Trying to get a new one. I’m expecting to get sacked rather than leaving. No therapy since starting with the psychiatrist.

OP posts:
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