Dating / introducing kids as friends

[thisismyconundrum]

I've been seeing someone for a few weeks. We're both in similar situations and don't get a lot of childfree time, if at all.

I wouldn't consider introducing him to the kids or anything for AGES, but I am debating hanging out with him and his kids as 'friends'. The children are all primary age.

We spend most weekends with friends, usually my mum friends from various places and their kids or their little friends from school and their parents. WIBU to introduce them as a potential new set of friends?

My judgement seems clouded here.

Thank you.

I wouldn't, get to know each other as adults without kids first. Me and my now DH were in a similar situation when we met and for the first 2 years we only saw each other every other weekend.

Thanks. The problem is I barely have any time at all without the DC. Their dad isn't around.

Hmmm, I don’t think I would, if the kids all get on well you’ll be tempted to do it more and more and it will become an instant family accidentally.

Do you have any friends you can make childcare arrangements with?

Yes, I know someone who did this. They moved in within a year. 3 years on she regrets it and feels trapped.

I don't think primary aged kids are that easy to fool really.

They'll probably notice all the little glances etc, and sense you're more than friends.

@Its5656 but I think if op is aware it's a slippery slope she can avoid it.
I don't see any harm in play dates etc taking them all to soft play or park while you two have a coffee.

Nope, as I wouldn't lie to my daughters just to facilitate my love life.

This is definitely a concern and it would look terrible years down the line.

I could try but I don't feel I could do anymore than the odd couple of hours here and there.

Surely they know the background of how you know your actual friends though. Susan lives next door and Mae someone you met when your oldest started nursery and Holly is from work.

So you would have to invent a whole scenario.

I wouldn't. Can you get a babysitter sometime? Or meet when they are in school?

No, don't do it. Your kids aren't daft and they'll resent being lied to.

It's far too early. Be patient and take it slow for now.

A few weeks? He's barely more than a stranger!

Sorry OP it sounds too soon. I would leave it a few months - there's a lot you don't know about him yet. I probably wouldnt even introduce completely platonic people (male or female) to my kids so soon.

I get it, I'm in similar boat - but I think about the several men i've dated that haven't made it past a few months before i've lost interest and/or they've shown they aren't who I expected/wanted them to be.