Online dating- love bombing

[crochetmonkey74]

So many men on the apps say such ridiculous things. After 2 days of texts and 3 voice notes this week I was told " your voice is the loveliest I've ever heard i love it more than any voice in the world" when I joked and said that we hadn't met yet and also he had 2 daughters so maybe their voices were more loved, he got in a massive strop as I didn't immediately say that his message which he sent 'to elicit a response' was wonderful.
Another guy totally OTT about how beautiful I am (I'm not, I'm totally average) and again when I wasn't buying into it, became aggressive. Why do men think love bombing works? Genuine question.

Because they think we're stupid.

Agreed. A lot of them think women will easily fall for it

Nailed it.

It really must be. They are not even subtle. The one guy literally said I'd disappointed him as he sent the message to elicit a response, and I didnt reply even though 20 mins had passed

Back in my online dating days, I had a guy try this on. We’d been on one date and he said he had a Christmas present for me and said he’d bring it with him when he picked me up for our second date. No joke, he brought in a 32 inch TV (big back then) and a ginormous pile of other gifts. There was easily 25 things. I said I couldn’t accept it and he insisted which made me feel uncomfortable. I went on the date and then blocked him. Having had a love bombing ex, I didn’t want to risk it.

I can't understand it at all. It makes you feel so impersonal. Like you could be anybody, they would just love bomb whatever human happened to be near them

I had one date with a man I met online - he wasn't for me, no chemistry, shorter than he'd claimed, and he reeked of cigarettes despite professing to be a non-smoker. He then bombard me with messages and phone-calls, even sent flowers to my office - it got quite scary. he told me he was madly in love with me, that he was going to marry me, and we'd have beautiful children together.

I blocked him on every platform and even told the security guard at work to keep an eye out for him - I was terrified he's rock up there. He didn't know where I lived thank goodness.

And when they have a big stroppy mood. What are they thinking? Like how on earth would that get them a date?

!!!!!

I cannot (couldn't) stand this kind of crap coming out of their mouths. When I was dating I once met a guy who told me my eyes were like an ocean. When I told this to my friend she said that ocean had sharks in. 🤣🤦🏽‍♀️

I don't think it's even as benign as that. I think it's because we are not people, we are commodities to them. They expect a performance from us which they have pre-planned in their minds and it is very jarring to them when we have minds of our own and are not little programmed bots that somersault in delight like those mechanical furry dogs sold on street corners. Having to interact with a real human being who has a will and opinions that differ from theirs is totally discombobulating for them.

I also think it’s a lack of emotional/social awareness on their part. They think ‘women like compliments, right? So this is how I’ll win her over’, without having the insight that actually bombarding someone with insincere compliments when you hardly know them will have the opposite effect! Lots of men lack this basic social knowledge and social skills I think.

I can certainly relate to this from my online dating days. I agree it’s very off putting & makes you feel as though you’re just one of many. Good way to root out the bad apples I suppose! I had this one guy that kept saying he wanted to buy me gifts & they were really stereotypical things like designer bags & shoes which aren’t up my street at all. We’d only exchanged a few messages!