To cook food at whatever time I want?

[Antisocialneighbour]

Name changed for this one.

I live in a flat building, just DH and me. DH finishes work at 7ish, the finishing time for my job really varies but often I’m not home until after 9. As such we often cook quite late.

Earlier this week I got a complaint from a neighbour complaining that we cook too late and asked us to stop! They specifically aren’t a fan of our meals featuring meat, onion and garlic.

DH addressed the complainer and apologised but honestly I’m bewildered why you would even complain. I get it might be frustrating to smell cooking smells later at night, however if you live in a flat building what the fuck can you do. We can’t eat any earlier and I don’t want to cook bland food.

I’ve spoke to DH and he says he initially felt guilty but now sees it from my point of view.

So am I being unreasonable to send a message to my neighbour explaining that I think their request is ridiculous and carry on living my life as normal?

You would not be unreasonable to tell them to fuck right off, to be honest.

Are you sure it’s not about noise? Is there an extraction fan going or pans clanging about? It’s completely out of order to complain about normal cooking smells. If they are that sensitive they shouldn’t t live in a flat.

@43ontherocksporfavor This is what I initially thought and DH did ask them but they said it’s the cooking smells that are the issue!

How are they smelling your cooking smells in their flat. I live in a block of flats and we never get cooking smells from our neighbours in out flat. Do you had an odd ventilation system?

WTF

If you were running an industrial kitchen out of your flat and cooking 12 hours a day they might have a point but you’re just cooking dinner?

I also don’t understand why the smell is travelling so much. Is there a vent somewhere that smell is travelling through (eg an old chimneybreast with airbrick in it)?

My bedroom window is next to my neighbours's kitchen window and they cook similar late at night. Just have to remember to keep the window closed.

At this time of year do they not have their windows closed? Surely you cook for less than an hour? They are being unreasonable. I would carry on as you are. If my neighbour smoked in their garden there is nothing I would say. It’s not unreasonable.

I guess the flat set up must not be identical to yours.

That’s crazy. They have no right to complain unfortunately for them u can do as u please in ur own home. I stay in a terraced house n wen im putting the rubbish out I can sometimes smell my neighbours cooking… it only bothers me cuz it usually smells much nicer than whatever we had lol !

YANBU but this is do batshit I'm not sure I could even be bothered replying. As the great Viennese writer Nestroy said - "don't even ignore it."

That's what confuses me. Aren't cooking smells meant to be nice? Why is smelling them a bad thing?

There has to be a compromise here. Yes, of course you should be allowed to cook what you want when you want. But it would be neighbourly to investigate why the smell is permeating their home and take steps to mitigate it.

Completely crazy. Just ignore.

I can sometimes smell bacon and coffee in the morning if my windows are open, it's lovely.
I live in a flat and of all the things that could bother me about living in flats, cooking smells are not one of them.

I'd be mad if I lived below you and you put your dishwasher on late after cooking.

I think this depends how much onion and garlic you use; how often and well you clean your pans and cooker. I’m Indian, lived in terraces for a long time in an Indian area, and when you cook highly spiced or pungent food with lots of fat the smell can be absorbed into everything. It can even ruin your extractor fan and clog it up. Just have a quick check to make sure everything’s clean.

Nothing you can do. If you cook at five or six it's going to smell the same as if you cook it at 9 or 10.

At the end of the day it’s your flat, your home, your rules. You’re not breaking any laws regarding anti-social noise or disturbances so just crack on.

I'm sorry if this is cheeky but would you like to share some recipes at all?

Not entirely true. The neighbour can actually go down the civil court route claiming the smell is a nuisance although first steps would usually be complaining to the council and Environment Health may investigate plus raising a complaint to the managing agent.

Private nuisance normally involves interference with the claimant’s enjoyment of their land/property, usually by noise, smell or by the causing of actual physical damage to their property. In such cases the claimant can bring a civil claim seeking an injunction and/or damages and/or abatement, as appropriate against noise, smell or by the causing of actual physical damage to their property.

Is it the smell of meat they are against? I heard of that before!
But no, you carry on, you're not being antisocial cooking in your own home!

This brings back memories of my neighbour complaining about my cooking smells
And that I smoked. He didn't like me smoking in my own garden or inside my own home
Or that I was female and lived alone
Or if I didn't bring my bins in 30 seconds after they were emptied I was at work

Eventually he hammered on the door one day while I had a casserole in the oven, shouting and swearing about "your fucking cooking smells making me fucking ill you stupid...."
I stood back and opened the door further and he saw my dad was here, his face was an absolute picture

Never heard a peep from him again

I'm vegan and could smell when my neighbour cooked a mixed grill. Not my problem, didn't bother me in the slightest!!!!!
They need to get a grip.

What a strange question, especially when the internet has millions of recipes.

Honestly I would hate that too. I can’t even stand it when my DH makes oven chips at night. The idea of someone else’s stinky (albeit normal) cooking drifting into my space when I want to relax in the evening would make me feel out of control and drive me mad.

Not your problem, and not her fault either. This is one where the building design is probably exacerbating things but please don’t be too harsh on her. She isn’t unreasonable.

I used to live in a flatshare with a couple who both worked in a restaurant and would come home after the restaurant closed and cook dinner, about 1am - 2am. My bedroom was next to the kitchen. It was a nightmare. But never did I have the gall to think that they didn't have the right to a meal when they got home just because they worked unsociable hours!

I mean, they were right gits and regularly brought colleagues home and had music on etc., all starting past 1am, but I didn't begrudge them the cooking and meal itself! Your neighbour needs to learn that living in a flat rather than a detached house means there will be other people living in close proximity and they too have the right to go about their lives in a reasonable manner. Unless the neighbour is offering to include you in his/her own supper cooking and drop you round a meal every night!