To have not kept the house tidy today?

[Darthwazette]

I’m unwell with Covid, I feel really rough, high fever, shivering, aches and pains, dizziness and an uncontrollable cough to name but a few.

3 DC are also off school unwell although they’re coming through the other side of it now.

All I’ve done today is put the online food shop away, got drinks, pain relief, etc when needed and ordered the kids fast food for lunch.

DH has come home in a foul mood because downstairs is untidy. I asked him earlier if he would make tea and he seemed to be fine with that plan so I’ve not tackled anything. The expectation that he will cook has also pissed him off.

AIBU to have let the house become untidy for a day when I’m really poorly and also caring for 3 poorly kids?

I have poor mental health and this is really tuning in to my belief that I’m lazy, good for nothing, etc.

YANBU. Housework can slide for a few days when you’re poorly. Your husband is being completely unreasonable for being in such a strop. Parenting is teamwork. When one of you is ill, the other one should step up.

No you’re not unreasonable. However I had very similar when I had covid in that the husband didn’t go and get the kids and himself a take away so I ended up having to cook them something. Wasn’t impressed.

I bet when he's ill he takes to his bed and needs looking after. Sounds like you're not in a fit state to be tidying and hoovering, hope you feel better soon.

YANBU. Go to bed and stay there until you feel better. If DH is being an arse, it's best that you don't have to watch his performative sulking when he is expected to look after his own DC.

Why couldn’t he cook ??

Hugs OP, hope you feel better soon! Why are so many men so crap at looking after partners when they’re ill? I’m poorly as well at the moment and asked DH if he’d please cook me some
soup (he currently unemployed, due to no fault of his own, but he does have a lot of time in his hands while I work full time and went to work although poorly and needed to collapse on sofa after a long hard day at work) and he got super annoyed. He also got annoyed I’m even lying on the sofa. Whenever he’s poorly, I bring him tea and food and don’t expect him to lift a finger. In the end I told him flat out Im not feeeling well and I’d like him to please look after me. I’m done being a passive aggressive martyr.
Ask for what you need and ignore him if he gets annoyed is my advice OP!

I asked him to get a takeaway on his way home from work and he didn’t want to. If he was home I’d then have gone to bed but he wasn’t so no other choice.

We are all ill 6 of us and the house has been a tip for days which shows how ill we are as me and hubby like everything spick and span.

YANBU at all. Your husband is an adult, he can tidy up himself if he's that bothered about it. Why on earth is he expecting a tidy house and dinner when he knows you are all unwell? He should be looking after you, not the other way round.

I've had a day like yours ok except no kids thank god - and no partner to give me crap! Honestly he sounds so horrible - just selfish and unkind. My partner is texting me if there's anything he can get for me, loads of love, etc and we've been together 25 years (don't live together anymore).

So many women stuck with useless, pathetic asreholes.

He's pissed off because you have inconvenienced him by being unwell.

Yanbu. Hope you feel better soon.

Oh, his bangmaid was malfunctioning? How sad for this absolute prince.

I can't imagine being in a relationship with someone where there was no love and care. DH looks after me when I'm ill, I do the same for him. If the house gets untidy we will sort it when we can.

OP can you start to make plans to leave him? If he doesn't respect you now he is unlikely to improve at any point in the future.

Bangmaid 🤣

Not only is it ok to not tidy today it's ok if the house is left untidy for days on end. You're sick and you're not even getting a chance to get a proper rest as you're looking after sick children.

Get as much rest as you can, don't worry about the state of the house. Your DH is perfectly capable of looking after his children and tidying the house he lives in, he shouldn't be making you feel even worse by complaining.

I hope you all feel better very soon💐