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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Working pattern

5 replies

Lorijune · 07/11/2023 19:56

My husband works 7 long days on and 7 off. During his work period he comes home to sleep but is otherwise fairly absent. I work a 4 day week and have the kids (youngest 4) on the weekend he works, from 4pm until bedtime and my day off. He can’t help much on his week at work so I do everything. The problem is on his week off he has space when kids at school/nursery to catch up on jobs/relax/do sport. I almost never have a day to myself and it’s taking a huge toll on me. I do it because with everything being so expensive it is helping with the finances. He’s been offered a job closer to home with a different work schedule which would make a huge difference to me and this problem. He doesn’t want it as it would mean he has to do some night shift. I feel so disappointed that he’s only taking his own preferences into account and doesn’t see how hard I’m working to keep everything together. I’m tempted to reduce my hours to give myself a break during the week since I’m solo parenting every second weekend. I can’t carry on like this.

OP posts:
TheClitterati · 07/11/2023 21:12

Can you not take some time for yourself every other weekend when he isn't working?

Maybe you have 1 family day where you all do something together, and then you have a whole day off to do what you want.

TheClitterati · 07/11/2023 21:15

There must be days in his 7 off days where he can cover the family stuff 100%

Lorijune · 07/11/2023 21:48

Yes but I still work a day job on his days off.

OP posts:
Lorijune · 07/11/2023 21:51

It’s feels like one family day a fortnight isn’t enough.

OP posts:
ColleenDonaghy · 07/11/2023 21:52

Night shifts can be brutal and have a big impact on family life (I've never done them but my dad did for years), they're also terrible for health. So I wouldn't rush to assuming that job will be the answer.

What does he do in the 7 days off? Does he take on the bulk of the kids and house crap? He needs to make sure you get some time to yourself on your days off at the very least.

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