At being pissed off at this...

[berrrnana]

My DM is turning 70 next month. As a gift I booked a holiday for me, DH, DD and mom (me paying for myself, half to DD and for my mom)... next summer.
Backstory - mom is a widow hence why just herself going with us.
was looking forward to letting mom know on her birthday that I've booked this for her as a special treat for her 70th!

Now DH has decided what a wonderful idea it would be to invite his mom, dad along too as his dad will be turning 65 around the time we go. Aswell as trying to book his brother, his wife and their 3 kids on aswell!!

AIBU in thinking this is unfair on my mom? She will be the gooseberry in between all these couples and families. It was my idea to take mom away for her bday. Now it's being gatecrashed. AIBU for being pissed off?

And....

WWYD in my situation ?

You're being reasonable. Tell DH that you'll organise something special for his dad's 70th birthday. But a bit like blended families - you need time with your own children, you need time with your step-children and you need time all together. Your mum reached 70 first. You've got another 5 years to save for DH dad birthday holiday. And guess what, DH family would probably prefer a group family holiday with just their side doing what they want! If DH has already mentioned it to his family - sit him down and explain and then explain to his family that on reflection, you want to celebrate and value the 70 years of mum's life personally. (She's either widowed or divorced right?) But you'll do the same for DH dad. And in the meantime get everyone together for a day around Christmas.

They weren't booked on. He suggested it to me and I said no. It's weird and it'll be awkward. He disagreed.. or should I say he didn't care what I thought or how my mom might feel anyway anyway.
So he went over my head and called them later on last night to ask if they'd like to add on to our holiday.. luckily brother can't afford to go just yet and dad didn't know about getting the time off so the idea was squished.

Still just pissed me off. Very thoughtless

Ok, so the good news is they aren't coming.

The bad news is he didn't listen to you and still tried to go ahead and arrange it even after you said no. YANBU to be pissed off, obviously. But the issue isn't his stupidity over thinking it was a good idea, it was how he regarded what you said.

he didn't care what I thought or how my mom might feel anyway anyway

Wow, it gets worse! He's horrible!

Good that it sounds like his family may not be able to come - although it doesn't sound like you're out of the woods yet - but his attitude is horrendous. It makes me wonder how you DM will feel going away with him. Does she like him? Or are you (with good intentions) forcing her into a holiday with your arsehole DH?