Posting on here blatantly for traffic as I don't have an AIBU, really.
See this a lot in posts on here about male partners, normally in the context of it causing an issue within a relationship.
Lots of men who show a lack of care towards their partners feelings, and speak to them worse than they'd speak to a stranger on the street. Men who minimise or gaslight. Men who genuinely dont see how they behave as wrong. Men who have no ill intention with their behaviour, but dont show any actual effort towards changing - going to therapy or even doing a basic google search on how to tackle it.
Lots of dad's who react in the same negative ways their parents did, or in a way they think fathers 'should' behave based on outdated stereotypes and refuse to see the issue with it, or have never done any research into parenting, or still insist that their child is the issue when it affects their relationship.
Lots of men who even when confronted with their problems, don't see why they should change. 'Well ive always been like this, I show my love in other ways'
But if your partner is saying 'the way you behave makes me miserable and makes me feel unloved' why wouldn't you try.
(Disclaimer 1: No, not all men behave like this - im not saying that. Yes there are women who also behave like this)(Disclaimer 2: This issue stems, as does many things, from the way people of different genders are socialised and brought up, and it's hard to fight lifelong conditioning. However. Being told that you are actively upsetting your partner/children and actively harming your relationships and then continuing to do nothing, or throwing your hands up and going 'well I don't know what to do' when... Google is free and parenting/relationship books are in abundance' is quite frankly unacceptable. Surely if you actually love someone, you would want to work to make sure you werent making them unhappy)
So a question to those of you who married someone like this, who raised children with someone like this, or is now divorced/separated from someone like this - would you do it all again, knowing what you know now?
What would you say to anyone reading this who might be considering setting up a life, having children with someone whose 'not good with emotions?'