Son in law

[cousinsfriends]

My DSon in law who has been married to my DS for many years and had always been lovely has started to bitch about my other two DS. He will make comments about their parenting decisions. The way they spend their money, their lifestyles etc. he will always be nice to their faces
I don't know why or how to approach it. I certainly don't want to fall out over this. My lovely DS seems to ignore it and makes no comments. It really bothers me as I love all my sons and partners equally

Very few men actually like their BILs in my experience. Stay out of it and ignore what he says is my advice.

Well that's just anecdotal and in my experience, untrue

For example my brother and husband get on great, but I wouldn't use that as a basis to say most men love their brother in law.

OP, if my son or daughter in law was openly slagging off my other children, I would certainly say something along the lines of 'please don't talk about my child like that in front of me' or 'kindly keep your opinions to yourself'.

I agree. If someone bitched about one of my children I’d shut it right down.

If it’s centring on lifestyles and spending then I’d assume he’s jealous? Often when people criticise others spending habits it seems more like they’re annoyed because they themselves don’t have the money to “throw away” or “splash out” on xyz.

It it possible your daughter and him are going through some money worries and she won’t say anything to shut it down so as not to draw out a conversation around money?

I’d probably just indirectly shut down any comments by counting his points eg. “I can’t believe X has bought, what rubbish” “yes, well he works hard so why not”. No need to cause a drama but then he knows that a) you don’t share his views and b) you don’t want to hear them behind your sons backs in your home.

Does he have children himself?

Its amazing how many people who don’t have kids are experts on parenting.

Thank you for your comments ladies I'm going to give it some thought and will give you an update x

Not true in my case. My brother and my husband get on like a house on fire