Side sleeping baby

[CeCe2023]

Posting here for traffic!

I know all the safe sleep guidelines, lullaby trust etc, but I’m wondering if I can get some opinions.

My DD is 4 months and for 4 months we’ve had to do shifts holding her in the bed to sleep as she’ll do a max of 0 to 40 mins in the next to me before she wakes up, most of the time instantly and then needs calmed, feeding back to sleep or rocked back to sleep.

I’ve tried everything, warming the cot, placing down in different ways, spending calm day time in there, placing down awake, letting her cry a little, waiting until deep sleep etc etc!

Tonight I’ve tried twice with instant wake ups, so just now (on advice of my mum) I’ve propped her slightly on her side with two rolled up cellular blankets, and she seems to be staying!

She’s startled twice (which normally wakes her) and settled back down. I’m watching her like a hawk, which is counter productive to me getting any rest 😂

Is this okay? Her neck is clear, chin up, just slightly on her left side?

I’m terrified as all the guidance says not to but I’m so sleep deprived I’m not being the mam I want to be, I haven’t slept more than 3 hours a night since she was born and have started nodding off holding her, so surely this is better?

No hate please, just trying my best.

FWIW she can role front to back and had really strong head control.

When in hospital the midwives suggested I do this as DD was born a little blocked up. If they are suggesting it I'm sure it's OK.

Well, I had dd sleeping on her front before we left hospital (5 day stay). I had checked that she had good head control and followed all other guidelines. She preferred it.

And, I firmly believe that when it comes to arguments between you and baby, baby always wins because they make life so shit for you if they don’t.

She woke up 😂 but after 45 minutes which is the best stretch we’ve had in a long while!

I’m going to persevere as it’s no less safe than being on my chest while I’m passing out with exhaustion!

Thanks for the responses @TheSandgroper @Ywlala92 hopefully this wasn’t a fluke!

Both mine side slept before they could roll over.

The first because of reflux that made him scream blue murder if laid on his back.

The second because she had a flat head on one side. We rolled up a thin Muslin blanket to put behind her back. (I know you are not meant to put anything in there but our therapist suggested it, and the fairly small risk of problems was outweighed by the very large risk of her having a permanently deformed head).

I have a baby like yours, 4.5 months. We've pretty much ditched the crib. She used to sleep next to me on her side, which gave me 3 hours of continuous sleep, or sometimes on top of me on her tummy with constant access to my boobs (if she was having a particularly bad night of constant waking). I'm a light sleeper so would wake at even a slight movement. Yes, it was against guidelines and increased the risk of SIDS but my baby is a crazy light sleeper who wakes at the tiniest discomfort. And I get ill if I don't sleep at least a few hours.

Now she's actually started sleeping on her back as her reflux is improving a bit, so we're managing to follow the safe co-sleeping guidelines.

Hope things improve for you soon. Sleep deprivation is horrendous.

Thanks @Aria999 its such a balance isn’t it!
Mine just hates sleeping on her back, loves being on her belly or side on me, so this is the best compromise.

Just hoping it does actually work, just getting her back down now!

Although guidelines were for back sleeping when all my kids were born, I had one who’d only sleep face down, one who was a side sleeper and one who happily slept on her back.

With my face down baby, I was a wreck with worry, but that was the only way he’d sleep. And of course, as soon as they could roll, all three of them slept face down.

I hope by now your LO is having a good snooze!

Get an owlet or another type of breathing monitor. Controversial but I swear by them for reducing anxiety around sleeping positions. In any case, your baby must be on the cusp of rolling themselves into that position, once they can get in and out of it themselves it's game over and you can just leave them. Make sure they are getting tonnes of tummy time during the day to strengthen the muscles needed for rolling

Massive sympathy, OP. We have a baby of a similar age who's only recently allowed us to put her down to sleep. Like you I thought the back sleeping guidelines were all well and good but when you have a baby that just won't be put down you have to compromise somewhere. I was tearing my hair out and all the HV and midwives could say was that she would turn a corner at some point when she realised we weren't going anywhere.

You may well already be doing this but something that helped for us was putting DD in a sleeping bag. She was too small for ages but once she fit that was her cue to get her head down.

You might also want to look into reflux if you haven't already. If that seems like a possibility then some people recommend raising the head of the crib slightly. Again, not without its risks.

Hoping you find something that works for you very soon 💐

Thanks @fungibletoken we do put her in a sleep bag which when we first started defo made a difference! But not so much now!

I only got another 10 minutes in the crib out of her unfortunately last night but I mainly gave up cos I was exhausted, will be trying again tonight!

Thanks @Whentwobecomesthree i have heard good things about these! Gutted I missed out on almost an hours sleep because I was staring at her 😂