To wonder how the father feels about donor eggs/surrogates

[Monetm]

Just thinking about women in the public eye who have had babies unusually late (e.g. Hilary Swank giving birth to twins at 48, Cameron Diaz via surrogate in her 40s etc) obviously we don’t know the circumstances but statistically some of them are likely to be with donor eggs, and some of them are public about using a surrogate.

Given how many men seem to go for younger women, and the fact that a man in a position to attract e.g. a Hollywood star would probably be in a position to partner with a woman still of childbearing age even if he is older, AIBU overly cynical/unromantic about men to be a bit surprised that these men are apparently happy to partner with women who won’t be the biological mother of their child and/or might not be their birth mother? Is it just, taking the nicest interpretation, that they are in love with the woman and want to be a parent with them in whatever form that comes? Are they not really that fussed about the woman being the biological mother so long as they are the biological father? Or (being a bit cynical/negative) is it that the lifestyle they can have with a Hollywood actress or otherwise successful woman is enough to outweigh the woman’s fertility issues, at least for now?

I’d be quite interested in a male perspective if there are any men on the thread (but definitely interested in a female perspective as well)

Healthy relationships are based on the people involved loving each other for who they are as individual people, not because of their fertility.

Obviously different people have different feelings about needing a genetic link to their children but given how widespread adoption and step-parents raising children as their own etc are, I wouldn't ever think it's a dealbreaker by default.

This thread is basically summarised as "do some people really have a specific view that I don't?"
Answer is yes, obviously

Personally I am like @GwenGhost and being genetically linked with my dc (and going through pregnancy with them) was incredibly important for me. I think it is with most parents I've met. I wouldn't have considered egg or sperm donation or adoption or surrogacy, and if it turned out we couldn't have our own genetic children then we just would have had a chuld-free life.

But I can also understand that other people have different values and it simply doesn't matter to them, and I guess those are the couples (or individuals) who have decided to go ahead with it.

That isn’t how you phrased your OP though, it was about female celebrities and their partners, and you suggested that their male partners would probably be able to partner with a younger woman.
If you’d wanted to discuss how partners might feel about surrogacy, egg donation etc. in general, the responses would have been different. It’s the insensitive wording of your OP that’s upset people.

You absolutely cannot say what you would or would not do in that situation, until you are in that situation.

People also have different levels of desire to have children. My partner and I always discussed that we definitely wanted children, although for me it was a deep burning desire, and for him it would have been horrible if it never happened, but he’d have eventually got over it. I don’t think I would have.

However, until we were actually trying (and had been for a long time) I never thought I’d consider IVF. But once I realised it wasn’t going to happen otherwise; it was all I could think about.

Now that I have my children, I have zero desire to have more.

I find it flabbergasting that people post this kind of woman baiting shit. Student podcast perhaps.....

As an adopted child I can tell you that men, like women, can and do love children who are not made by their sperm and/or their wives' eggs. My dad was the most wonderful father you could imagine, and he couldn't have loved a biological child more.