Hi all am new
I want to know if AIBU? I need advice.
Im (F)40 and (M)45 not married but been together 21 years. Two kids.
I've had IBS-d for 8 years probably years longer. I've been having tests for chrons disease. I also think I have anxiety too.
The issue is,
Me and my DP were out having a day's shopping, I told my DP "look.. I need to go home because I'm flaring , he then proceeds to visit his stepdad telling me to just sit in the car, if you don't want to come in, he lives 2 miles away, we get there and I could feel a flare getting worse, again asked the DP.. look I really need to go home (he drives, i don't) to which he said no, Again I ask him look I really need to go so I could use the loo.
I start getting into a panic, he wont go, he wants to stay at his SD, I wanted to walk back but that wasn't a great idea, SD house is down a very long country lane, forest at either side and it's getting dark, so didn't, i don't have any supplies on me, I usually carry a bag in the car, but I had no clothes, no meds, no nothing.
Im panicking had an awful explosion 😞 if you know you know, I'll spare you the details.
As I was coming out the loo, My DP joked in front of everyone, his family , "bet you've pebble dashed it" in the loudest voice with them all finding it hilarious, finding him funny, I was so angry and mortified, I swore never to go there again, which I haven't 😞 it's been a year now. and I've not been back there I can't face it.
His SD wants us to go to his for Christmas dinner, and asked me to go, but I know my DP as spoke to him, but I never want to live though that experience again 😞
AIBU turning him down, I just want to be home where I know I can relax and enjoy Christmas with my kids and DP without worrying or thinking of flaring or shitting myself Infront of another 10 guests.
I was so mortified and to this day it effects me massively, I avoid any of his family gatherings, incase I have a flare.
I'm usually one that can laugh at myself, but they don't realise how this has affected my mental health and sometimes I have wished i wasn't here😔
And then to top it off my mam died last year and my anxiety is off the chart, which effects my stomach, I just can't deal with people the same, I don't know how to explain it since she passed away, I just like my own bubble.
Help!
Thank you for reading.