If your parents came from different places did you end up with someone from one of those places or not?

[TransformationChynaDoll]

Not sure what the point of this thread is. My mum and dad come from different countries. I grew up here in the UK with my British family, no contact with the other culture or my family there. We only reconnected when I was in my teens.

I've always been in relationships with other Brits, but I've been thinking about my strong beliefs as a child that I would marry someone from dad's country. I met someone from said country on Friday and even though I wasn't attracted to him I kept thinking how much easier it would be. To be with someone who looked like me, spoke both languages and could teach me about the bits of the culture I don't know. Maybe this is just fantasy, thinking about inheriting a big family in my parents home land when mine are largely disinterested in me. Not just that but they've been ravaged by war and have escaped to various parts of the World through necessity!

What's your experience? I even think that this resonates with those with northern and southern parents, do we always navigate to what's familiar and reminds us of home?

Kind of, but on a much, much smaller scale. All of my partners as an adult have been from the same part of London as my parents, aunts and uncles. I’m not from London but it felt very familiar; the humour, the general attitudes etc, which were very different in the area I’m from. But then I married a Welshman, so very different.

@Nagado that's interesting. So do you think those factors seemed endearing to you? What made you go for the exotic Welshman?

Yeah, very endearing. I’m also friends with a couple of women from the same area who I know ruffled a few feathers when they first moved here due to their… direct way of communicating, but I felt very at home with them right away.

And right person, right time 😊

No

I met someone from said country on Friday and even though I wasn't attracted to him I kept thinking how much easier it would be. To be with someone who looked like me, spoke both languages and could teach me about the bits of the culture I don't know

I think you’d still face the challenges that any couple from two different cultures would face though. Perhaps more so, as there could be an expectation that you’d have similar views on some things, simply because of your appearance or shared language.

@Nagado I agree!

No

Not at all. In fact, I rarely fancied people from either country my folks are from and DP is from another country entirely!

I didn't

Sort of, in that all my serious relationships have been with people who also have parents from elsewhere, or were mixed race, or came here as a child. Not necessarily from my parents' countries though, and as it turns out my kids ended up with grandparents from 4 different countries.

I prefer to go for people who are different to me so I can experience a new culture. I don't have a racial preference but would prefer someone not from the same area and race as me, I just find it dull!

Hmm. Mum's family Jews from Berlin. Dad from Ireland. I ended up with someone from Jamaica. But I think that's the London effect: in my baby group, I was the only person born in England, let alone London. One of the babies was Chinese-Hungarian, one Japanese-Estonian, one German-Zimbabwean. The diversity in London is world-beating!