Would you have said something?

[cherryscola]

Went swimming with my cousin yesterday, took our little ones.

Afterwards, we were in the family changing area, the cubicle next door had 2 women in and 4 little boys that went in just ahead of us.

I heard one of the women say 'I am just running to reception, can you get my two finished in their coats and shoes'. One of the little boys started crying, the other woman was saying 'you need to put your coat on NOW, we need to go NOW' this went on for about a minute or so, then I heard some slap sounds and the crying went up hysterically. Little boy 'I want my mummmmy' and the other woman said 'well that's what will happen if you don't listen to me and put your coat on'.

I felt very very uncomfortable and will be honest, I don't agree with smacking children at all. Obviously, I cannot be 100 percent certain she smacked the other woman's child but from the dialogue that is what it seemed.

Anyway, when me and my group were leaving I saw other mum outside waiting at reception and I told her what I had over heard and she looked confused.

My cousin says I shouldn't have got involved and there is every possibility that the mum smacks too but I felt there was always a chance she didn't. I would of said something to the woman who actually did it but she was still in the cubicle when we left.

Would you have said anything? It was horrible to hear, i saw these little boys before they went in and they were around my child's age (no older than 2/3)

I think you did the right thing. She can check with her two boys what happened before she says anything.

I'd have done the same, although no idea how I'd have worded confronting the other woman, had I needed to.

I think your approach was correct

Absolutely typical of my childhood (the smacking part). Parent or close adult: Do this now. Child: No! Adult: SLAP!. I am glad I live in more civilised times now.

You absolutely did the right thing. It may well have been a slap and that's child abuse, it's better to say something then nothing. If it was, and she was unaware something like this had happened, how long would it have continued when she left her children alone with another trusted adult.

I would have wanted to know when mine where that age(now they are old enough to tell me properly themselves).

i'm glad others would have said something too. It really was very unpleasant to hear - my cousin mentioned it this morning and said others have a different approach to parenting and it's not something I should have commented on.

I think anyone vulnerable does need speaking up for, and as some previous posters I would have wanted to be told too in that situation.

Would rather be wrong and the other woman was completely aware that's how her friend/relative handles things than the other woman have no idea.

How did you phrase it?

And did she say anything? Or just look confused? If someone had told me that I think I'd have shouted after them and asked for more detail.

I wouldn't have because I'm a wimp. But good on you. Well done.

Well done, OP. Imagine if the child told their mum and the other adult denied it, and called the toddler a liar. It would have been one against the other. You were the little ones voice, and I think more people should do this. The mum then has a better understanding. I don't agree with your cousin who turns a blind eye to child abuse!

It doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks. You did what you felt was best at the time. Have more confidence in your decisions.

It's not so much lacking confidence in how I handled it - I would do it again. I think I was more curious if others would have said something or if they would have agreed with my cousin and not.

I assumed most who heard what I did would of felt they had to say something - until I had a chat with my cousin this morning. She is very much in the camp most people wouldn't get involved as it's their business how they parent.

I think I perhaps would have said something as soon as I heard it, as well as telling the mum what I’d heard, but I’m not one for minding my own business. You definitely did the right thing telling the mum. If she doesn’t smack her children she could be trusting the other woman not to smack them either.