Repeating everything!

[Cheeringmeup]

I know this is not important or serious and I may well be a bit hormonal and intolerant, but does anyone else's H constantly ask you to repeat what you've said? It's all the time - "what?" , "sorry" , when I know he's heard me because half way through me repeating it he answers whatever is!
It"a driving me mad, I may have to kill him.

I have auditory processing disorder which means I do the exact same thing as your husband all the time. It’s part of my ADHD. Obviously I’m not saying your husband has ADHD but it could be inattentiveness for another reason (medication, tiredness, depression, anxiety, too many other distractions like the TV for example). I’m sure he cares about what you have to say or he wouldn’t ask you to repeat it.

I appreciate it is a really annoying habit though.

I do this. I know it’s annoying. I’ve come to learn it’s a part of adhd. It’s not a hearing issue, and he’s not doing it on purpose. It’s just taking him a minute to process. Maybe try delaying replying to him when he asks you what you said? I don’t mean ignore him, but just give it a few moments, if it’s annoying you so much.

Sorry about this sexist comment but it does seem to be a man thing (in my world). I think maybe it's for extra thinking time and then they 'get it' and answer. Might even be unconsciously done. DF does it a lot and DH and DS sometimes.

My ex did this constantly, drove me bonkers, it is very frustrating.

The ADHD thing is interesting though - I have it and don’t do it but the rational kind of makes sense, I suppose.

With my ex I think it was actually just habit, and then rudeness as he knew how irritated it was making me.

In the end I consciously didn’t start conversations with him as I knew I would only have to repeat what I had said, and it was preferable to stay quiet than get pissed off!

I do this sometimes, I think it's a processing issue, I usually realise what's been said just after asking for it to be repeated. I think I have ADD. It's not that I'm not paying attention, it just seems to take a moment for my brain to grasp what's been said.

My hubby says that about me lol sometimes I'm in my own little world, but I know when his watching TV he doesn't hear me at all...I guess I'm not mad because I do it to :-)

DP does this and has ADHD. I never repeat myself when he says what/pardon/sorry/huh, I just wait and he usually goes “oh, right – here’s the answer/response to what you said”.

My mum does this and it drives me mad! I know she’s heard me so I pause then she’s suddenly got what I said. I feel like she puts it on a bit to annoy me! She wants me to say “mum” first before I speak every time to get her attention first so she knows I’m talking to her. But there’ll only be us two there so who else would I be talking to?

I do this with DD and she goes ballistic after a certain point. In my defence, I attended several concerts a year ago standing right in front of the speakers. A news report came out that it could be heard 11 miles away. Meh, it was fucking awesome at the time

My DH does this, and it's not because of any neuro diversity, because he doesn't do it at work, and he doesn't do it with anyone else. He just does it with me
It goes in phases, and I could cheerfully put him under the patio when it's at its peak

My dh did this snd it infuriates me. Ive got to the point where i can’t be bothered to start a conversation with him at times as its too hard.
He also does this thing where he pretends to not understand me. He queries every little bit of what i say - hard to explain but like asking who said that, who did that when its blatantly obvious. It makes it really hard to tell him something. I sometimes have to say stop, save all your questions until i finish - half joking but completely meaning it.
While im on a roll he often asks me something, walks off to do something so he can’t hear the answer then comes back and asks again!

Both me and DH do this to each other. I happily just repeat back what I've said. He gets annoyed and huffs about having to repeat back to me. But I've explained that my ears aren't constantly sitting waiting in anticipation that he might say something to me at any given moment and nor should they be. So he will just have to say my name to get the attention of my ears and brain before speaking, if he doesn't want to be annoyed when I ask for a repeat. It's usually just the first part I've missed due to needing a second to realise he's talking to me and not the dog.

Yes, I do this too and it’s been driving my husband bananas. Usually I do hear most of what he says the first time but I may miss a small bit crucial part, usually near the beginning.
“ I’ve bought pizza for tomorrow night”
“ do you want to order pizza tomorrow night?”

all I’ve heard is “pizza tomorrow night” and so I’m not sure how to respond.

try to get his attention first by making sure you’re in the same room, addressing him first and making sure he can see you. That gives a moment for him to tune into what you’re saying

Thanks for the responses, sorry for vanishing! Definitely no ADHD or any ND, probably just inattentiveness, but it can be when we're in the middle of a conversation, not the beginning and he'll just drift. The worst is when I've said something quite involved and lengthy and he'll say "sorry, what was that?" , then I get 3 words into repeating it and he'll be "Oh yeah, you said that already". I think I need to just stop repeating, it's only me it's annoying!