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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby in car when shunted.

34 replies

WorrisomeWorries · 04/11/2023 22:30

Full disclosure I have anxiety and catastrophise really bad.

We were in a queue for fireworks today. 9 month old asleep in back and three year old awake next to baby.

Car goes into the back of us. Felt like a stall, not super hard but a shunt.
Baby woke. Seemed ok, not crying out etc.
Three year old seemed fine. Upset that I was super.

I'm now driving myself insane with whether baby is harmed. Behaviour is normal, although usually a terrible sleeper and done two hours straight now.

Would you be worried? Has it happened to you?
Only medical option is to go sit in a and e for hours on end, which husband feels is extreme as seems fine and no signs of issues.

Sorry for aibu but looking for traffic. (No, I can't be treated for anxiety, it's part of my neurodiversity profile)

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 04/11/2023 22:33

It's not unreasonable to be upset and worried, but if the baby was in a rear facing seat (which is exactly why they have them, so they don't have their necks damaged by impacts), it's unlikely.

However, for your own peace of mind and if you personally felt even a slight dup of your head/neck from the impact, nobody is going to criticise you at the hospital for wanting to get both of them checked out.

Autiebibliophile · 04/11/2023 22:34

Likelihood is baby is absolutely fine but no one can tell you for certain. A baby in a car seat is protected by the seat and any movement would move the baby in to the car seat rather than jerk forward. I'd try not to worry but you could ring 111 if you are worried or see out if hours tomorrow

PlantMum23 · 04/11/2023 22:35

Presumably your baby was properly strapped into a rear facing car seat, and not wearing a jacket?

If so, then I wouldn’t worry - baby was safest person in the car!

I’d want the person who hit me to replace both car seats though.

FreeezePeach · 04/11/2023 22:35

If it felt like a stall then no I wouldn't be worried.

I suspect it's the fact it was a shunt that's set off your anxiety, as I'm sure if you'd stalled the engine you'd probably have forgotten about it by now.

Original poster
WorrisomeWorries · 04/11/2023 22:38

Yes rear facing, strapped in properly.
Is there even anything they can actually check if I went in or is it just a pointless exercise.

Yes have taken details to be replaced.

OP posts:
Hellocatshome · 04/11/2023 22:38

A baby properly restrained in a rear facing car seat in a small shunt like that shouldn't be injured in anyway. In fact often dont even wake up if they are asleep at the time.

AhBiscuits · 04/11/2023 22:41

No I wouldn't be worried.

What are you actually worried about?

Original poster
WorrisomeWorries · 04/11/2023 22:43

AhBiscuits · 04/11/2023 22:41

No I wouldn't be worried.

What are you actually worried about?

Brain damage, internal damage I can't see.

OP posts:
PlantMum23 · 04/11/2023 22:44

WorrisomeWorries · 04/11/2023 22:38

Yes rear facing, strapped in properly.
Is there even anything they can actually check if I went in or is it just a pointless exercise.

Yes have taken details to be replaced.

You are fine then. I’m anxious about cars and car seats too, and I’d be okay with this scenario.

they’d likely just test babies reactions and such, so if you feel like knowing they have been checked would make you feel better then go. However, in your position, I wouldn’t go.

110APiccadilly · 04/11/2023 22:45

I wonder whether 111 would be a better option for you than going to A&E?

FWIW, I think it sounds like your baby is almost certainly fine. But if you need to talk to a medical professional to make sure, or just to know what to look out for, then 111 gives you a way to do that.

gentlemum · 04/11/2023 22:46

Can you call 111 for advice? And they can either tell you to go in and get baby checked or reassure you everything is fine and give you any signs to look out for?

Original poster
WorrisomeWorries · 04/11/2023 22:48

Every time I have called 111 for baby they have sent me to a and e. Not sure if it's standard or just what they do in this area because care is non existent.

When I was pregnant and had stroke like symptoms they had me waiting for 6+ hours. Turned out to be Bells palsy, fine not life threatening, but just gives an example of the wait times. I had toddler with me at the time and I don't fancy a repeat just to calm my anxiety.

OP posts:
connu · 04/11/2023 22:51

I think you are more likely projecting your anxiety and baby is reacting

If it was such a minimal bump and kids were correctly strapped in as you say then I'd reckon there is more chance of a lottery win than any harm have come to them.

Original poster
WorrisomeWorries · 04/11/2023 22:53

connu · 04/11/2023 22:51

I think you are more likely projecting your anxiety and baby is reacting

If it was such a minimal bump and kids were correctly strapped in as you say then I'd reckon there is more chance of a lottery win than any harm have come to them.

It was my three year old that reacted because I was scared, but yeah I suspect that is the case.

I just don't do very well in this case because of my anxiety and as husband is the opposite and a bit Blaise I don't have a good reference point. And obviously the other driver wanted to downplay it to get out of me claiming.

OP posts:
110APiccadilly · 04/11/2023 22:54

WorrisomeWorries · 04/11/2023 22:48

Every time I have called 111 for baby they have sent me to a and e. Not sure if it's standard or just what they do in this area because care is non existent.

When I was pregnant and had stroke like symptoms they had me waiting for 6+ hours. Turned out to be Bells palsy, fine not life threatening, but just gives an example of the wait times. I had toddler with me at the time and I don't fancy a repeat just to calm my anxiety.

It's not standard. I've been rung back by a doctor/ nurse a couple of times when I've rung them (about a baby/ toddler) and never been sent to A&E.

But that doesn't really help you if that's what they do in your area!

I wouldn't go to A&E in your position, if that helps (and I probably wouldn't ring 111 either, but I thought it could be helpful to reassure you).

StillWantingADog · 04/11/2023 22:58

I was in a very similar accident except I was heavily pregnant. I was similarly panicked.

ds was moving around quite normally after, I didn’t get properly checked out until a routine midwife appointment a few days later. Like you I didn’t fancy a night at a&e
if he seems fine then he is almost certainly fine. It’s why we put them in expensive car seats. They’re almost bomb proof. Designed for this exact scenario
(as a baby I was put in a carry cot on the back seat- no seatbelts available)

angelikacpickles · 04/11/2023 23:02

WorrisomeWorries · 04/11/2023 22:43

Brain damage, internal damage I can't see.

Show quote history

If you stalled your car, you wouldn't think your baby had brain damage, so if it was the same level of shunt, then she's fine.

Original poster
WorrisomeWorries · 04/11/2023 23:03

But when I stall my car nothing has hit me so isn't it different?

OP posts:
Original poster
WorrisomeWorries · 04/11/2023 23:06

Woken for a feed now which is fairly normal. I'm guessing if I went in now anyway it wouldn't be good to test her reflexes as she is used to sleeping at night and will want to sleep.

OP posts:
WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 04/11/2023 23:13

If it helps OP, something similar happened when DS was a baby. He's now a strapping, fully functioning, pretty bright, teenager who eats me out of house and home.

DisquietintheRanks · 04/11/2023 23:18

Would I be worried? No, not even a tiny bit. There is no possible way your baby could have been seriously injured by what you describe.

angelikacpickles · 04/11/2023 23:18

WorrisomeWorries · 04/11/2023 23:03

But when I stall my car nothing has hit me so isn't it different?

In what way? If the jolt was the same, then what your baby's body experienced was the same.

eitherorneithernor · 04/11/2023 23:24

I find it weird that you're in bits about one of your kids but not the other, but I doubt that's helpful.

But there we are.

I wouldn't have given this scenario a second thought, personally.

137kk · 04/11/2023 23:24

WorrisomeWorries · 04/11/2023 22:43

Brain damage, internal damage I can't see.

Show quote history

@WorrisomeWorries i am a huge worrier. My friend’s dc at a similar age fell and hit his head and had a huge huge bump. Went to a and e and all fine.

your baby has been pushed while strapped in, like if they were swung in on a swing. They would have cried if in pain.

if you are worried go to a and e or see gp on Monday. Hope you are ok.

Original poster
WorrisomeWorries · 04/11/2023 23:26

The other child can talk, but thanks. Helpful.

OP posts: