Life after lockdown

[delisane]

Anyone else feel meh after the pandemic and lockdowns? I'm not sad or depressed. I just feel like nothing matters anymore. I am much more authentic and I'll say what's on my mind.

Before lockdown I used to care so much about things but I don't stress as much now.

It's made me kind of hard in a way. I used to be so soft but I was hurt during lockdown like everyone else.

I have twins and we couldn't afford childcare so I cared for them solo throughout lockdown while my husband worked. I saw people slam doors in each other's faces due to the very legitimate fear of covid.

As with most things in life there were definitely Winners and Losers from the COVID pandemic. Key workers didnt get the choice to lock themselves away in safety from infection. Recently I heard that the wealth of the top 200 families in the UK (the report didnt mention which families they were, but I'm sure we can guess) significantly increased during the crisis which is astonishing but not surprising.

I remember all the slebs showing the inside of their homes during lockdown, with their massive living space and expansive gardens, and it made me think how insensitive and out of touch they were, when there were families entrapped in high rise flats with no space or gardens having to survive on furlough with no way of knowing what the future held for them. It was heart breaking and just showed how social media can be the scourge of society for its divisiveness in shining a light on the Haves versus the Have-nots.

As with most things in life there were definitely Winners and Losers from the COVID pandemic

I think that's a good point.

The positives and negatives were definitely not evenly distributed, and inequality widened. We're seeing the knock on effects of this now.

Agree - and in the same way that people in secure jobs, with guaranteed incomes, were more pro lockdown than those whose jobs were vulnerable, were more anti.

Incidentally, the reason furlough payments were so generous was because the government realised if they weren’t, the public wouldn’t be so compliant so it was a firm of bribery to keep the majority onside.

I know I have changed over the last 4 years. I’m more outspoken and less of a people pleaser but I don’t put this down to lockdown. I put it down to my age!
Everything that happens to us through our lives shapes the person we become. We will alter over our whole life span. Very few people can say ‘everything about me is due to this one event’…..

For me lockdowns were a period of our history, not our present.

I worked 80hr weeks for the first 5 weeks of lockdown, not knowing if the business I worked with would survive and the following 4 weeks I works 65 to 70 hrs per week. I look back and wonder where I found the energy but with a sense of pride that I cared so much. And no, I’m not looking for a medal - I am simply describing that it was physically hard going.

My DH faced similar uncertainty with his business, but used that certainty to question and probe what could be different and better if it survived.

Our kids (a teen and pre-teen at the time) were feral in those 9 weeks. They home schooled themselves or didn’t some days during those 9 weeks. My oldest was diagnosed with a living changing, chronic health condition during this period, his life is forever different as a result and that is bloody tough.

My memory of sunshine and lovely weather is vivid though I wasn’t out in it but our kids were out in the garden every day loving it.

My Mother is different post lockdown as she because very anxious about contracting COVID but if I am to be completely honest there is evidence of moderate health anxiety being present throughout our childhood. It was COVID that changed her not lockdown though it was hard for her - she adopted her own version of COVID protocols that were very self limiting and nobody could talk her down from them.

While I would not wish to return to a lockdown period in the future I would take 10 lockdowns than live where war atrocities are happening.

Our governments made decisions in the moment, some were positive and worked while others were poor and ill considered - I don’t believe any were made with malicious intent (I am not referring to some individual politicians who behaved atrociously).

OP, like others I think you’re describing something beyond an impact of lockdown be that depression or something else.

Speaking with a professional therapist could be really worthwhile. For my Mother, I wish she had sought counselling with she was younger to address what I believe to have been health anxiety in her case. I really believe it would have helped her resilience for what live brings which just happened to include a pandemic. And selfishly, it would have helped her adult children which as a Mother she would also have wanted.

Look after yourself

To be honest, my life has continued on as normal pre covid. I was big on personal space out and about before covid, so that didn't really change during covid. Life is back to normal for me and has been for a long time.

I agree OP.
Lockdowns broke me. We were very careful as 2/4 of us have serious health issues that meant we were much more at risk, so we felt completely isolated. I used to do so much before, but since have had zero energy/head space/inclination to do anything beyond the necessary.

I don't feel depressed, but my life has shifted dramatically and try as I might, I can't get it back to where it was.

This sounds so tough and it sounds like you have been incredibly strong. I hope some new sources of joy will emerge for you even if it takes a while. x

@Wond3rment you'd take lockdowns over war. Why do we have to compare them?

I think you lack of empathy and understanding of the impact of lockdown.

It was the lack of care and that's harder to show than something been done to you.

I kind of agree with this. Restrictions lifted around 2.5 years ago, and as we go into 2024 it will be 4 years since we first went into lockdown.

I see this as quite a long time and the whole lockdown thing to now be part of history. Partly because I like to move on from bad things as swiftly as possible, but also because we’ve got bigger problems on our hands in the present, so why continue worrying about the past.

Edit: Neither of my nephews (aged 6 and <1) will have any memory of lockdowns or what they meant when they’re older, and I really envy them that!

@delisane I absolutely agree that I lack an understanding of your lockdown experience …and everyone else’s as they are personal experiences which are individual to all of us.

However, I was disappointed to read that you feel I lack empathy when it comes to lockdown experience. I can and do feel empathy even if they are not my lived or personal experience. Being empathic is possible without having a need to be in agreement. I do wish you well.

Not saying this applies to the OP, but on MN I have noticed a small faction who seem to almost wish we were still living with restrictions or at least keeping covid at the forefront of our thoughts.

In RL, people have long ago moved on.

In some ways I agree. So I have a wfh job which wouldn’t have been wfh. I started this a year r so ago and I have really struggled with it in a way I’m sure I wouldn’t have if it would have been face to face. I also find it pretty lonely. But that’s just my job (which has been so miserable at times that it’s interfered with home). I’ve also gained weight that I can’t shift and generally feel less healthy- but also I’m a few years older so…..

I also think we’ve remained more into our screens and devices which makes us feel crap.

outisde of that I think it’s actually better. I used to run around busy busy. Now it’s a slower la e of life. A few people dropped off the list, there’s more downtime etc etc.

My teen dd suffered badly during lockdown and the return to school and crowds. Thankfully she has come through it now.

I don’t really give it much thought anymore. I still find it hard to get a GP appt, dental appt and kids swimming lessons - they all blame Covid!

I only recently found out that our local maternity unit still only allows dads in to postnatal wards now, no more grandparents and half the village popping in to see baby. I find that a bit sad as I loved my mum coming to see me after a section, but I also think it’s probably a good thing really.

I was the one that commented on this thread that we are now nearly in 2024 so we just just get on with life.

Whilst I stand by that statement, it's incredibly sad to read all these comments about how people's lives were affected and still are. 😢

I’ve noticed this as well.

It’s not just in a scare-mongering ‘Covid hasn’t gone away’ sort of way either. I think people attribute far more things to Covid than makes sense.

For example, on the Holidays board, whenever someone complains about the cost of a summer holiday in 2024, there will always be posters replying with “it’s pent up demand due to Covid” or “it’s people who had their holiday cancelled during Covid pushing up demand”.

Virtually everyone who had their plans cancelled in 2020 managed to go away in 2021 or 2022, and maybe some left it to 2023. The holidaymakers who are still deferring their 2020 holiday into 2024 are, I imagine, a very small minority. The compulsion to blame everything on Covid is utterly bizarre.

No, living life as I was before. If anything, I'm happier and more positive.

I still think about all the things my dc missed out on and how it still affects dc2 in particular.

I am still not back to 'normal' following Covid as my DD's MH fell off a cliff (dragging me nearly under too), and though a lot better is still not fully recovered. All the lockdowns ran into each other as far as I was concerned so I 'lost' at least 18 months.

However I have been out to my first fireworks since 2019 and have booked my first theatre show for December. Things are getting better.

Have a great time!

I don't know about that. After about May 2020 I was totally anti lock down and doing my own thing (an attitude I passed onto my kids and DH, even tho a family member of his was ill at the time)

I had a secure job and was being paid full whack throughout (and for about the first month I didn't even have to do any work because of the nature of my role) and DH was also paid full whack in a secure job WFH.

I don't now, but it took a long long time for that feeling to go away and I still feel such intense anger towards the people responsible for locking us down and sacrificing working people/ children/ poorer people for the rich middle classes and baby boomers (and I say that as a higher rate tax payer!). I have no trust in society now after I watched people sleepwalk into the restrictions and clap like seals for the end of their freedoms.

That said, it makes me more determined to live my life and do as many things as possible before it all gets taken away again, so I suppose in some ways that's a positive.

For me, I hate the endless Teams calls we have now whereas pre-covid we would have met in person, usually a much more enjoyable experience.

I feel like I’m back to normal now but it took a long time. I felt genuinely scarred by the 4 months I spent working from home full time and caring for a toddler at the same time, and really angry that I’d been put in that position. When the narrative about lockdown was all about those who’d been furloughed and could have endless long days off with their children, or those who could spend their time doing DIY in their homes, or even homeschooling but not having to work at the same time, I was very, very bitter.

I think it affected everyone differently. There's 7 of us here and we all have different after effects.

I'd never invalidate anyone's feelings as they are important and real.

Personally having loose people to COVID who were healthy breaks me daily. They should be alive and enjoying life and their young children now instead of being 6 foot under.

Each of my children reacted differently, the ones I thought it would affect didn't and vice versa. We've been on suicide watch for 2 years with one, another didn't get a chance to make new friends when they started college, it was all online and by the time the college's opened back up they were not long back before they were finished and trying to get work, which was difficult as many jobs were taken by people who changed carer's/jobs during the close of many businesses during the lock downs, plus lots of work went online which meant sitting in the house and not mixing with other people, 2 of my other children basically picked up where they left off and my youngest who's severely disabled reverted back due to no therapies no school no anything.

So while some had a great time and think it was a piece of piss, there were some who were affected. We can't judge on how we feel/felt personally, we have to understand that everyone's brain is different.

An acquaintance who has a severely disabled child, is a single parent, she ended up as an in patient in a mental health unit due to the lock downs, her child was being cared for by a relative in another County, this woman's poor brain got so ill sitting in daily with no respite and no one allowed to visit her, she was allowed for someone to move in with her but unfortunately there was no one and it was too late by the time she reached out, she said she felt like a failure .

I always try to understand if someone says they struggled or are still struggling, I thought I escaped the awful effects of the lock downs, but it has a ripple effect, my adult children suffered so it's me now dealing with that, it's no fun watching your once sociable children enjoying life now wishing they were dead .