To want to share the ‘special’ occasions

[CaramelShortcakes]

I’m a lone parent, my children are with me full time. I’m often told by other parents that I’m lucky that I get to have my kids with me all the time and they wish they could and that I’m lucky I get all the special occasions. So I feel ungrateful posting this but I actually don’t feel lucky at all. I hate that everything falls on me including all the special occasions, I hate having no one to share the load. By the weekend I’m usually too exhausted to do anything with the kids. I hate all the pressure to take them out to special events when I’m so drained and don’t have the energy or motivation. For example the fireworks, our local one was cancelled a few years ago so we don’t have a local one anymore meaning if I want to take them to the fireworks I will have to travel over an hour and a half away on public transport not to mention the cost of all these days out and special treats and this is something I can’t be bothered to do after a stressful week of running around. I just want to chill out but of course that means the kids miss out and I end up feeling guilty for not taking them or I force myself then end up not actually enjoying it anyway as I’m too tired to enjoy it. I wish there was another parent around to take them to places so I didn’t have all the pressure of it falling on me. Even Christmas I didn’t really enjoy as it was so much pressure on me and the day was a big flop anyway as all the kids did was argue. I want to share the special occasions with someone and have someone who could take the pressure off me not only being the serious mum but also the fun mum and everything in between. Aibu to want to share the special times rather than always having to be doing everything?

Ime putting the work in when they are small gives it's own rewards in the future.. I have amazing relationships with my adult dc. They don't see their df's... Try and appreciate them a bit more op!!

Thanks I already said I do, just that I’m too exhausted to do the special things because I do everything else as well. It’s exhausting being the serious parent, the fun parent, the one to do everything!

By the weekends I’m too exhausted to do anything with them and if I force myself I don’t end up enjoying it because I’m so tired and never having anyone to come and take them out to do fun things with them to take the load off and so I feel less guilty if I can’t manage things is all I meant.

Yanbu, kids are bloody hard work for two parents let alone one!
Do you have local friends you could team up with and maybe do an evening of sparklers around a bonfire, rather than either traveling (or not going at all) to a big event? I think kids are sometimes happier with a small event that makes then feel like they're doing "something", they don't always need the big event.

You are absolutely NOT being unreasonable. I look after my DC alone for stretches at a time (couple of weeks max) and by the end of those short stints I feel low and anxious and stressed. You are doing an amazing job just keeping going. Is there any help or respite you can access at all? local teenager to come and help?

Thank you the previous comment made me feel bad for not appreciating them but it’s not about that it’s about not being able to be everything all the time, the weekends are spent running errands, cleaning, cooking, sorting things for school, doing my children’s hair, there is literally no time to rest and I don’t have time for the fun things and if I force myself I’m too tired to enjoy it and end up just feeling stressed because I’ve put other things off to do it so to have someone to come and take them to do fun stuff with them would be one less thing to worry about!

Ive not been in your position. I can definitely see how it would be exhausting though.
I always think how awful it must be for parents who don't get to spend the special occasions with their kids, because it's the exes turn. That would be the worst thing for me.
Hope it gets easier for you though. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to do everything. You don't have to see the fireworks, they are overrated 😅

Honestly how awful my kids were last Xmas I wouldn’t have minded them going to their fathers 😂 whilst I sat and had a glass of wine and a takeaway! At least they wouldn’t have played up so bad for him